Black and Blue
by BuffyAngellover
Summary: Buffy is abused by her father, and Angel's father left when he was just a kid. So what happens when the two meet?
1. Chapter One

Title: Black and Blue

Summary: Buffy is abused by her father, and Angel's father left when he was just a kid. So what happens when the two meet?

Rating: R at the most

Authors Notes: This was inspired by Areosmiths song Janie's Got a Gun. I did not write the song, and therefore I do not own it. Everything else it mine though.

Feedback: I would really appreciate it if you could review my story. It would mean a lot.

Chapter 1

**Before You Read- **Originally I had the lyrics of this song to start you out for the story, kind of to set the mood. This story though has recently been deleted though because I overlooked the fact that you couldn't have lyrics in any of your stories. So, if you would like the lyrics version of this chapter, please just e-mail me and I'll send it to you. You really aren't missing out on anything for the moment though, but it will become a huge part of this story later on. Enjoy!

"If you ever come back here you fucking bitch I swear to god I'll kill you!" Buffy slammed the door shut on her father's drunken rambling. She didn't know how many times she had heard that story before. It was always the same. Damon would go out, get his fill of women and whiskey, and then come back home, cursing the very existence of his only daughter. If she was lucky, Buffy was able to get out of the house before things turned for the worse.

Wrapping her dark leather coat around her shoulders tighter she walked down the dirt road, heading into town. There was a spot down by the railroad tracks where she usually stayed on nights like these. She didn't even know why she went though. The next day Damon would come and find her, begging her to come back home, telling her that things would be different this time around, that he would change. More then anything Buffy wanted to believe him, and she did. Or so she thought. It was more of denial then anything else. She just wanted him to be the man that everyone else saw.

Damon was one of the most respected people in the small town of Sunnydale. He was a high paid doctor at the town's local doctor's office. Most of his cases were filled with minor cuts and scrapes, but every once in a while some one would come in with a serious injury, needing almost immediate surgery, and Damon preformed it every time. He hadn't lost a patient yet. Except one that is.

A small bridge ran over a meadow, allowing the train to run across the vast field, without quite ruining the surrounding. This was Buffy's spot. The tight little dank area under the bridge, where the grass grew less green is where she'd made her home a couple times a month for the past five years. She was sixteen years old, but already she felt as if she were forty.

Snuggling down into the slightly damp grass Buffy pulled her legs up to her chest, trying to ward off the cold. Sighing softly she closed her eyes, preparing herself for the nightmares that always tended to haunt her dreams. Within moments she was lost.

Angel sighed as he walked through the door and saw his mother passed out on the couch. Quietly he walked over to her on his tip toes so as not to wake her up. Reaching over he pulled the afghan off of the chair and draped it over her sleeping form. She smelled highly of alcohol and sex.

Looking up above him he hoped that his little sister was upstairs safely tucked away. When his mother got like this, the children were never her first priority. Relief flooded him though as he walked up stairs and peeked into his baby sister's room. She lay safely under the covers, bundled up in her blankets to stay warm.

Closing the door quietly behind him he dragged himself to his room. He had been at the school for the past twelve hours studying everything he possibly could on Socrates. His report was due in two days, and he had only just started on it. It wasn't like he was a procrastinator or anything like that, far from it actually. The problem really was that he had his four year old sister Kathy to take care of, and a thirty four year mother that he constantly had to worry about. But trying to tell this to your teachers doesn't matter. In a school filled with over eight hundred kids, there was bound to be "slackers". And that's exactly what every person in his high school thought of him.

Sighing heavily he dropped his bag to the ground and barley even made it to the bed before collapsing. He couldn't remember when the last time was that he had slept. It had been the same routine since before he could walk, and then when his father left, things only got worse. Kathy was to young to remember what it was like, having a family. The dysfunctional little group that he used to believe in as his home had all turned on him the moment he was old enough. And with Kathy being born a few years ago, things just seemed to progress more towards darkness.

He loved his little sister more then anything in the world. But sometimes he wished that she had never been born, for her sake more then his. To be brought into a world where your mother could really care less if you lived or died, and a father who was pretty much none existent, wasn't something he wanted her to have. So he was there for her every single step of the way, allowing his life to be devoid of anything else.

Shutting his eyes he willed the peaceful slumber to over come him. He had to be back up to get Kathy off to preschool in only three hours time. But no matter how hard he tried, sleep just wouldn't come. Something was bugging him. It was almost like a nagging sensation in the back of his mind, like there was something he had to do. But what?

The screeching of his bedroom door turned his thoughts. Looking over, a small girl stood in the entry way, clinging to her stuffed teddy bear.

"What's wrong Kathy?" He asked his baby sister.

She stood shuffling her feet back and fourth on the carpet. "I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?" She asked hopefully.

Nodding his head in consent she smiled and with a running leap threw herself on top of her older brothers bed, snuggling down into the sheets. "S'ank you." She mumbled as her little head hit his pillow, already fast asleep.

He smiled and brushed some of her baby fine hair away from her eyes. Leaning down he kissed her goodnight and laid back to try and get some sleep himself. If it would come that is. But in a moment's time, he entered his dream world, watching the images of a young girl trying to hide bruises and scars from the outside world.

Miles away, that same girl turned over in the dewy grass, exposing the welt on her right arm.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter 2

He hit his alarm clock furiously as it sounded in the stillness of his room. Groaning as he saw the time was only 4:30, he swung his legs out of bed. With much protest he stepped into the warm spray of the shower, trying to wash away the sleep that seemed to cling to him. The day had barley even begun and he already was going to have to wake up his mother, something he was not looking forward too, drop his sister off at her friend's house so she could get ready for preschool there, then get to his school and somehow convince his English Professor to give him a twenty-four hour extension on his paper. A point which he knew would be nearly impossible to do.

Leaning against the shower stall heavily, he sighed. It was mornings like this that he just wanted to stay inside the hot confines of this steel box, and not face the outside world. All he wanted was at the very least, one day where he didn't have to worry about school, or his little sister, or his drunken mother. But no matter how hard he hoped, how hard he prayed, it never happened.

Getting out of the shower he toweled off his dark hair and blindly got dressed, practically falling down the stairs as he went to wake up his mother. She still laid in the same position as last night. Looking for the entire world as if she were dead.

"Mom." Angel shook her lightly, hoping that when she roused she wouldn't be in one of her moods. "Mom, you've got to get up. Works in an hour."

She groaned in protest at her son. "What time is it?"

"Five."

"Too early." She mumbled, rolling back over to go to back to sleep.

Angel got up from his kneeled position. Starting a strong pot of coffee he went and got a bottle of bear, some water, and two Advil.

"Mom." She opened her eyes and glared. "Here take these, then drink this." He handed over the beer, something that was a constant supply in their house, and without a second glace walked upstairs.

He hated to have to wake her up by giving her the thing that had put her in that position in the first place. But the beer eased her hang over, and more importantly, kept her off his back. The vile substance was always resting in the fridge. Nights would go by where neither he nor Kathy would have any thing to eat just because their mother had spent her paycheck on a new dress and alcohol. It seemed to be the only liquor she could afford. If she could, she would defiantly buy the hard stuff, but since Angel kept half his paycheck from her for those nights that he and Kathy would starve, she had to make due with the cheep store bought alcohol.

"Kathy sweetie." He sat down by his sister. "Wake up." Stretching like a cat she uncurled herself.

"Don' wanna."

"Just go brush your teeth for me. Kay?"

Nodding, she blindly got up and left, making Angel smile as she padded down the hall.

Grabbing his bag and his sisters he ran downstairs, placing them by the door. "You up?" He asked of his mother. She waved her hand while taking a swig of her beer.

"Where you goin'?"

"School. You know the place I go every day." He bit out sarcastically while filling up his travel mug with a lot of black steamy coffee. He was going to need it today.

"Don't be smart with me young man." She snapped

"Kathy, hurry up! We're gonna be late!"

"Answer me when I'm talking to you!" She barked from the living room.

Angel just rolled his eyes and lifted a half asleep Kathy in his arms, getting ready to leave.

"Angel!"

"What?" He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Don't you dare ignore me. I'm your mother for Christ's sake. The least you could do is treat me with a little respect."

Angel picked up the bags while balancing Kathy with one arm. "Tell you what, you start acting like a mother, and I'll show you some." He slammed the door behind his mothers cursing, dreading the kind of day that lay before him.

Buffy walked into the hall of her school and headed straight to the bathroom. Quickly she pulled out her cover up and tried to hide the deep dark circles embedded under her eyes from the lack of sleep she had received.

"Rough night?" A short red head came into the bathroom eying Buffy suspiciously. Everyone thought she was insane. People had stopped counting how many times she'd come to school with bruises and cuts. She always blamed it on her father, but the rest of the student body, along with the town, just couldn't think of kind old Dr. Damon like that. He was too nice and kind hearted. Every time Buffy and him would walk down the street together everyone would always shake there head and sigh, thinking about poor Damon who lost his wife so many years ago, and ever since, had to deal with a suicidal daughter. They all thought the wounds that would appear on Buffy over night were self inflicted, that she was just trying to get attention. If only they knew how badly her father beat her. How she had cried herself to sleep every night until about a year ago. It was only then that she had learned to accept how her life was going to be.

"Yeah." Buffy replied shortly, walking out of the bathroom as quick as she came. Lowering her head a little, so as not to draw anymore attention to herself, she continued forward through the throngs of teenagers, and headed towards the library.

"Mr. Henders please! I'm just asking for one more days worth." Angel followed his English professor from one side of the room to the other, trying his hardest to make his case known.

"I've already told you Mr. O'Connel. The answer is no."

"Then at least give me until the end of the day. I swear I'll have the paper on your desk by five o'clock."

"I said no. You shouldn't have procrastinated…"

"I didn't procrastinate! I have to take care of my sister and my mother, go to work everyday so we have enough money to pay the rent, and I have homework from every other teacher in this damn school! All I'm asking for is a short extension." Angel pleaded.

Mr. Henders turned around and looked him straight in the eye. "If you can't keep up, then maybe you should consider dropping out of my class. I don't have time to deal with late work."

Angel stared at him blankly for a second before responding. "Fine." He growled as he marched out the door and headed to the library. He'd have to settle to making half of his report up off the top of his head. He wasn't going to let the professor win. By first period, he'd have a paper to turn in, even if it was a worthless piece of shit. He wasn't going to give Mr. Henders the satisfaction of giving him another F. Angel had already done half the research he needed so far, that in it's self was worth at least a D.

In his rush to get to the back table of the library, Angel didn't even see the young blonde kneeling by the texts books until he ran into her.

"Oh god! I'm sorry." The girl said from her position on the ground.

"No, it was my fault. I wasn't looking." Angel started gathering his things, not really paying attention to the girl in front of him.

"It was both are faults." She said, helping him pick up his papers. "Here."

Angel looked up to take the offered book in her hand. That's when he saw her, or at least truly saw her, for the first time. She had the most beautiful green eyes and gold tresses that framer her small face. "Th-thanks." He took the paper from her, making eye contact. "Are you new here?"

"Um…" she looked down from his gorgeous eyes and starting fiddling with the edge of her shirt. "No, I've…. I've gone here since I was in preschool actually." She was a little disappointed that he didn't know that. She'd been here for eleven years now.

"Oh, well… I just moved here about six months ago and I've been really busy ever since so… I don't really know everybody yet."

A wave of relief washed over her as she heard that. But then again maybe it was good that he didn't know who she was. Everyone that did couldn't stand to give her the time of day.

"I'm Liam O'Connel." He said, sticking out his hand. Suddenly his term paper didn't seem too important anymore. "Everyone calls me Angel though."

"Buffy Summers." She replied, slipping her little hand inside his. "I better let you get back to what you were doing. You seemed kind of in a rush." She looked pointedly down at the books and papers that still lay scattered on the floor.

"Oh, yeah. I have a paper due next period." He responded lamely. "I hope to see you around school." Throwing a smile over her shoulder he walked off, causing Buffy to nearly go weak at the knees.

Standing shakily, Buffy walked to the back of the library. This is where she had spent every morning, and lunch for that matter, for the past five years. It was her safety from the outside world. No one every came back here, thus making it the perfect spot to sit and read or do her homework. But today she had another reason for being here. Today, she wanted to sit and spy on the dark haired boy she'd just met.

She saw him immediately sit down in one of the chairs and pull out several books and pieces of paper. From almost the moment he sat down he began to work, writing furiously on his paper and only occasionally looking back at the books for a reference. Every few minutes he'd crumple the paper up violently and throw it into the waste basket when he didn't like something. Buffy couldn't help but smile at the way his brow crinkled every time he started to get frustrated. Soon enough though the bell rang, causing him to groan and look at his unfinished paper in dread.

Slowly, as if he was trying to put the rest of the day off, he got up and headed towards the door. Waiting a few moments, making sure that he wasn't about to rush back in here, looking for a forgotten item, Buffy too got up and headed to class. Suddenly, her day was looking brighter.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter 3**

"Hey Sam." Angel called as he walked in the front door of the local bar.

"You're late." Sam said, scratching is bulging stomach through his stained cotton shirt.

"I had detention." Angel replied, dropping his bag in the back room.

"Detention? What the hell you do now?"

"Yelled at a teacher."

"That doesn't seem so bad."

"It is when you threaten to kill them right along with it."

"You did what?" Sam yelled. The overweight man had known Angel for years. Angel's father used to come in here with him all the time when he was just a child. Sam remembered his father very well. Despite the fact that his version of taking care of his kids was bringing them into the bar with him while he got piss drunk, Sam knew that that man loved his kids more then anything in the world. That's why he left. Ever since the day that Jack had walked out of this bar, leaving his drunken wife screaming inside, Sam had taken up the job as father. Watching over Angel and Kathy since there mother never did. A few years back, after one of the many nights of his mother's drunken rage, Angel had come in here searching for a job. And despite all the rules and regulations, Sam had given him one. Without the meager salary that he paid the kid, him and his family would be evicted from their house with not much more then a blink of the eye.

"I don't want to talk about it." Angel responded, immediately picking up a glass to dry. In about another hour the people would start pouring in, trying to forget all about the lives they lead every day.

"If you get kicked out of school..."

"I'm not going to get kicked out. I just have to meet with the counselor every day after school so she can determine if I'm 'a danger to others'. Or at least that's what they tell me."

"What'd ya say?"

Angel shrugged his shoulders. "Something to the affect that I hope he gets what's coming to him."

"And that's considered a death threat?"

"I might have said something about a knife or a gun somewhere in there." He added quietly.

"Damn it boy. Do you realize how serious this is? If they think that you're a danger your ass will be thrown in juvy in a second. Do you want that to happen?"

"No." He mumbled. "It's not fair though Sam. I'm smarter then all those kids in that damn school, and yet I'm flunking seventy five percent of my classes."

"Try doing the work kid. I hear that helps."

"You try doing the work when you have a job and a baby sister and a drunken lay about for a mother." He seethed.

"She come home last night?" Sam asked, trying not to let the hint of worry creep into his voice.

"She came home. Although a part of me wishes she didn't."

"Don't talk about your mother that way. Without her you and Kathy would be out on the streets."

Angel laughed bitterly. "Believe me Sam, Kathy and I would be much better off without her around."

"That may be so. But I can tell you right now that without your mother, you and Kathy would be wasting away in an orphanage some where. Is that what you want?"

Angel was quiet. He knew that this would happen if anything ever did happen to his mother. But he couldn't decide which the lesser evil here was. "I better go get some more vodka from the back room; I have a feeling it's going to be busy tonight." He said, disappearing into the dank storage area.

By ten o'clock the bar was at its fullest. Every single booth was filled with men and women drinking away their pains. Trying to forget for even a second that they lived in a world like this. Angel was filling and refilling drinks as quick as he could while keeping one eye out for the start of any type of bar fight. He was surprised that one hadn't broken out yet. It wasn't uncommon on nights like this to have six or seven fights in the matter of a couple hours. The night was still early though and Angel knew he should just be enjoying the peace while it lasted.

"Rum and coke." A man who looked about in his early twenties ordered as he approached the bar. Without even looking Angel made the drink in record time and handed it over. "Start a tab, will ya?"

"Yeah. What's you're name?" He pulled out a pencil and paper and began to fill it out.

"Sadie."

Angel briefly glanced up when he answered, then went back to filling out the form. But something stuck with him. Slowly he lifted his head and there she was. Sadie's arm was flung around her shoulder, keeping an almost painful clasp on her. Her green eyes stared back at him as she realized that she was probably busted. "She twenty one?" He asked Sadie, the whole time though keeping his eyes on Buffy.

"Of course she is."

"I'll need to see some ID."

"Fine. Show him you ID baby." Sadie said, still keeping her close to his side. Buffy fumbled to get her wallet, her hands shaking badly. Slowly she pulled out the fake card and handed it over to Angel.

He examined it for a moment, debating weather of not he should call her on this. But there was no way he could prove that she wasn't twenty one, and to tell the truth, he didn't have enough energy in him to even try.

"Alright," he said, sliding the card back towards her. "What can I get for you Ms. Garner?" He asked, using the fake name that showed up on her card.

"Just a beer. Please." She added as an after thought.

Angel just nodded and got her drink, watching as the two of them went to sit down at one of the only open seats in the back.

"She old enough?" Sam asked him.

Angel just looked at her for a moment before sighing and going back to work. "Yeah, she's old enough." He lied straight through his teeth.

By two in the morning only a few people remained. These were the regulars. People that came in every day at the same time, and left at the same time. If it wasn't for the bar having to close, Angel figured they would never leave. They'd just sit in one of the stools for the rest of their life, letting the world pass them by.

"If only I was that lucky." He muttered to himself as he finished drying the last of the shot glasses.

"Angel!" Sam yelled from across the room. "You've got a call."

Angel looked at him strangely as he picked up the phone. "Yeah?"

"Angel? This is Stacy, Emma's mom."

"Oh, hi Mrs. Morgan." He closed his eyes hoping for all the world that everything was okay. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, you're mother was supposed to pick Kathy up five hours ago, but she never showed up. I called your house several times but it says the phone lines disconnected."

"Yeah, we a… we're a little behind on our phone payments. Sorry. Look," he rubbed his eyes wearily, trying to hold back the stinging that seemed to come with tiredness. "I'll be getting off work in an hour; I'll pick her up on the way home."

"No, there's no need. Kathy's already fast asleep. I just wanted to let you know where she was. I'll take her to school tomorrow for you." She said, her voice softening as she heard the weariness that was creeping into Angel's voice.

"Really Mrs. Morgan, it's no problem…"

"Don't be silly Angel. I live twenty minutes out of your way. Just go home and get some sleep alright?"

"You sure?"

"Positive. Goodnight."

"Night," he hung up the phone while leaning heavily on the counter.

"What's up?" Sam came over as soon as he saw the phone conversation end.

"Mom didn't pick up Kathy again." He sighed and looked at the clock. "Look, do you think I can skip the rest of my work tonight, I need to go and see if mom's okay."

"Yeah, no problem. I'll see you tomorrow night." He gave Angel a pat on the shoulder and watched him walk out of the bar while struggling to stay awake.

Once outside Angel pulled his coat closer to him as the night air bit into him. He felt like just lying down right there and sleeping for eternity. But he knew that he needed to get home, make sure everything was okay with his mother, make sure she had even made it home.

"Damn it." He heard a voice say as he was about to open his car door. Turning slowly he saw Buffy standing on the other side of the parking lot searching her surroundings.

"Everything okay?" He called out to her. She nearly jumped as she heard his voice. Talking to him at the moment was the last thing she wanted to do.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." She ignored him and continued to search the lot. "You're friend left about ten minutes ago."

Buffy turned her eyes to the ground and shook her head. "Figures." Without another word she started walking towards the road.

"Do you need a lift?" He didn't know why he was doing this. Maybe it was because he felt sorry for her. Or maybe it was just the simple little fact that he didn't want to go home.

"No, I'm fine. I'll just walk the rest of the way home."

"The nearest town is over ten miles away." He stated. The bar that they were currently at was out in the middle of nowhere. It was supposed to keep the drunks from disturbing the rest of the neighborhood during the night.

"I need the exercise." She said as she continued on.

"Look, it's really no big deal or anything. I'm headed that way anyways." She still continued to walk. "I'm not letting you walk home by yourself."

"I've done it before." She said as she turned to him. Buffy was surprised to see genuine concern etched on his face.

"You could get hurt."

She laughed bitterly. "I think I can take it."

"Look, please let me drive you home. I promise I won't try anything."

She looked at him for a beat, debating whether or not this was a smart thing to do. Shaking her head slightly she walked back towards him. "I'm going to regret this." She mumbled to herself as he opened the passenger door for her.

An awkward silence filled the car when they were both comfortably seated. The heater was blasting, trying desperately to ward off the chill that clung to the interior of the car. Buffy just sat though biting her lower lip, trying to think of something to say.

"Thanks for not busting me."

Angel just nodded.

"Not many people would do that." She went on, trying to get some sort of response out of him. "So why did you?"

He was silent for a long time, silent to the point where she thought that he wasn't going to answer her. Finally his words broke the surface though. "You looked like you were having a bad day. And I know how it feels to have one of those."

She studied him out of the corner of her eye. Who was this boy who she had seemingly just met? He was so different from the others. Thoughtful in a way that most high schoolers didn't even have the maturity level to maintain. He looked as if he had seen too much of life already, and for that reason alone, Buffy was drawn to him.

Neither on of them spoke for the rest of the ride except for when Buffy had to give him directions to her house. He was shocked when he realized that she was the daughter of the most loved man in town, but he refused to show it.

Biding her goodbye she climbed out of the car, smiling when she realized that Angel wasn't going to take off until she had safely reached her house. She couldn't even remember one incident where a guy thought of her safety first. Grinning for the first time in a long time she slipped inside the door leaving Angel in the night.

When the door closed Angel slowly pulled out of her driveway and made his way home. It wasn't until about halfway there that he realized that she was the girl hiding her scars in his dream.


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

It was a week before either Buffy or Angel saw each other again. Angel had came to school the next day with every intention to talk to her, but the day had gone by and she had never even showed. This was the procedure for the week. Get up in the morning, take Kathy to school, and then wandering his own school grounds hoping to catch a single glimpse of the girl who had been haunting his dreams. It wasn't until the next Tuesday that he finally saw her.

He was standing at his locker at the time, getting ready for another day of hell. His mom had gotten plastered at some bar three hours away and Angel had to drive out and get her. He had just gotten back twenty minutes ago causing him to rush to school and get some of his homework out of the way. He was starting to worry that they weren't going to let him even graduate with the grades he was getting.

She passed him when he was rummaging through his bag trying to find his math book. Not that having it would make any difference. The first bell was going to ring any second now. All thoughts though raced out of his head as he glimpsed her walk past. He was about to raise his voice, call out to her, but something made him stop.

She had her head bent down looking at her shoes, obviously trying to close the rest of the world off as she made her way through the hall. She was walking so fast that it wouldn't have even mattered if Angel had tried to talk to her. She was gone before he could even gather the words to say.

With a feeling of foreboding he looked after her. The bell though rung and he knew that he couldn't do anything right now. He'd be late for first period if he didn't stop staring after the girl that up until a week ago, he didn't even know existed.

The school bell had rung for the end of the day over three hours ago. Angel's plan was to go and pick up Kathy and then catch a couple hours of studying time before he had to head out for work. But he never even left the car. Today had been hell on earth to say the least. Not only did he flunk his end of the semester exam in physics but he'd also been called into the principal's office to talk about him sexually harassing some freshman. A freshman he might add that he couldn't even pick out of a crowd as of this morning. So by the end of the day all he wanted was to get as far away from the school as humanly possible. Closing his eyes for those few minutes when he finally got into his car proved to be a mistake though. Because three hours later he woke up in that same position he had been earlier.

"Damn it!" Turning his keys trying to get the car to start proved to be of no use either. "No no no. Come on." He pumped the gas several times praying that the car would start. Kathy had been left at her school alone for over three hours now. He and his mother were already in enough hot water with the school board and by him not being able to pick her up today it would only just prove in the school's mind that there was no responsible adult watching out for him or Kathy. The car didn't seem to care though about the fact that Kathy and him might just be shipped off to some foster home in the city, because it still refused to start.

"Fuck!" He banged his head on the steering wheel causing the car's horn to go off. Thousands of excuses he could tell Kathy's teachers on why he was so late picking her up started to fill his mind. He didn't know if it was even worth it anymore. This was the third time this month that he had forgotten to pick her up and whenever it was his mothers turn to get her, it usually fell on Angel's shoulders anyways. He could remember countless times just driving by Kathy's school to see her little face sitting outside on the steps, crying because her mother who was supposed to love her so much had once again chosen alcohol over her.

A soft hesitant knock sounded on his window bringing him out of his panic. And there she was. Biting her lower lip Buffy peered into the window. It took him a second to realize that he was just starring at her, and when he finally did he quickly rolled down his window to greet her.

"Need some help?" She asked, holding in her grin at his predicament.

"My car died." He said lamely.

"Well, that's what happens when you start the car after school and just sit in it for three hours." He gave her a strange look wondering how she could possible know what had happened. "I've been in the court yard studying for a while. I saw you rush out of the school and… I didn't think I should come and wake you up. You seemed kind of angry."

"Yeah," He looked down not quite believing that she had even noticed him. "Do you have some cables? I'm really late in picking up my sister and…"

"Look, I'll do you one better. Hop in my car and I'll take you where ever it is you need to go."

"I don't want to be an inconvenience. Jump starting my car is just fine."

"You drove me home last week when I needed it. All I'm doing is returning the favor." He tossed the idea back and forth in his mind. "It'll be a lot quicker then just finding some cables to jump start this thing."

With a slight nod of his head he consented and jumped out of his car, not even bothering to lock it.

"So where am I taking you?" She asked as she climbed into her own car.

"Bright Preschool on third." Nodding her head quickly she pealed out of the high school without another thought in her mind. "Nice car you have here." He said as he looked around the lush interior of the new BMW.

"Thanks. My dad got it for me." She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear obviously not really wanting to talk about it. This car was just another one of Damon's bribes to get her to come back home. That was her first mistake though.

"What happened?" His hand reached out on its own accord, lightly grazing the bruised flesh around her cheek bone. Involuntarily she flinched away.

"Oh, nothing. I uh… I'm pretty clumsy at times." She furrowed her brow at the lie. But she liked this boy for reasons unknown to her, and if she were to tell him the truth he would just look at her like everyone else did in this town. "So, how old's your sister."

"Four." Angel noted the change in subject but didn't say anything about it.

"Is she your only sibling?"

"Yeah, it's just her me and my mom."

"You're lucky. I'm and only child. It'd be nice to have someone else around the house."

"Anytime you want to take her your more then welcome." He said bitterly. He was still trying to wake up and get past the awful feeling that was starting to take over him.

"You two don't get along?"

"No, it's not that…." He sighed. He loved his sister more then anything else in the world. He'd die for her, he would even kill for her. But at times like this he was sick of being the adult. If it was just him he had to worry about in life then everything would be okay, but he had Kathy to look after also. And taking care of a four year old wasn't an easy thing to do when you were sixteen. "She can just be a handful at times."

"Yeah, but your just the big brother. All four year olds are a handful. I'm sure your mom is the one doing most of the raising. You're mom's probably thankful to have you around to help lighten the load."

"Yeah, I'll bet she's thankful." He said bitterly. The rest of the ride was spoken in silence. Not a single word was uttered from either person until they pulled up to the preschool parking lot.

"Angel!" The little girl yelled as she ran to her brother. He quickly scooped her up in his arms giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I stayed right here just like you told me too Angel." She said, her arms wrapping around his neck in a death grip.

"Yes you did and I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry I'm so late Kath. I promise it'll never happen again."

She squirmed in his arms and pulled back laughing. "Liar." And sadly enough, Angel knew it was true.

"Mr. O'Connel?" A stern woman came walking up to him, Kathy's backpack in her hand.

"Mrs. Kirkland. I'm so sorry. My car died on me and…"

"You could have picked up a phone Mr. O'Connel." She clucked her tongue in a disapproving matter. "I tried calling your house, your place of employment, your mother's place of employment," Angel had to bite his tongue. The numbers that he had given her at the start of the year all led either to his home phone or to either of Sam's private lines. He couldn't give out his work number for legal reasons. "And no one picked up. You can't just leave a four year old sitting outside after school like that."

"Please Mrs. Kirkland, I'm sorry. My car wouldn't start. I had no way of contacting you."

"You look like you just rolled out of bed Mr. O'Connel!" Angel just stayed silent because there was nothing he could say right now to make this any better. "Look at you. You're a mess. No self respecting valuable citizen would be caught dead looking the way you do at the moment. Now I know Kathy's teachers have let this slide before, but since I am the head of this school I personally can not stand by and condone such behavior. Kathy is at a critical age in her life and she needs someone who will be there for her and be responsible for her!"

"I am there for her. At all times. I take care of her. I drive her to school, make sure she has a babysitter when I'm working…"

"I know you have a unique condition with your father being gone and your mother having to work out of town most of the time," Yet another lie he had to tell the school about his family. He couldn't allow the school to come in contact with his mother because they would definitely take Kathy away then. "But it doesn't matter. There are plenty of other students in this school who have the same home conditions and their family still manages to pick them up on time. Now Kathy is a bright young girl, and if you and your mother can't take care of her then I'll have no other option then to call child services."

"No, Mrs. Kirkland, you have to understand that today was just a bad day. I made a mistake. I'm sorry."

"It's seems like you've been having a rather bad year Mr. O'Connel." Her voice started rising to an almost shrill pitch. "Now I took the liberty of calling your school and when I talked to the principle he told me some very interesting things."

He hitched Kathy up on his hip a little tighter, holding on to her so he wouldn't be tempted to hit the woman before him. "You have no right…"

"No I believe I have every right. He told me that you are practically flunking out of school, you are the cause of several fights a week and you are currently being put under investigation for the sexual harassment of a one…" She peered down through her glasses and onto her clip board. "Becky Wellings."

"I didn't touch her." He ground out.

"That proves to be unknown as of yet. But if it turns out that it is true, I guarantee you that you will not be seeing your dear sister again. As it is, I'm going to go inside and notify the city that you and your family might want to be put under strict scrutiny for the next couple of weeks."

"You can't do that! There is no damn proof that I did anything to that girl!"

"Even if you haven't your constant lack of punctuality, your tendency to raise your voice to your elders…" Angel rolled his eyes. "…and your almost non existent care for your baby sister is enough to acquire into a visit from social services. Today was the last straw Mr. O'Connel…."

"Mrs. Kirkland." Angel whipped his head around to see Buffy standing right behind him. She had heard the whole conversation. "I can safely vouch for him that he had no way of getting here today."

"Why Ms. Summers." Mrs. Kirkland's voice softened the instant she realized that the daughter of the richest and the most beloved man in the town stood before her. "I'm sorry I didn't notice you before my dear. What can I do for you?"

"Mrs. Kirkland, don't call child services. I know for a fact that Liam couldn't come and pick up Kathy right after school because I was with him. We were on our way over here to pick her up when the car broke down. Now we tried to get a hold of you but there was absolutely no possible way. He doesn't own a cell phone and mine was dead. Our only possibility was to walk to my house to get my car, and by the time we got there he was so worried about getting to Kathy that we didn't even think about calling. I'm truly sorry for the inconvenience Mrs. Kirkland. But it was an honest accident."

Angel just gaped at her as she flat out lied to the lady in front of them.

Mrs. Kirkland sighed. "Even if it was an honest mistake today, it still doesn't dismiss the fact that him not picking her up has become a habit, not to mention the molestation charges."

"You're right it doesn't. But right now nothing is going to get solved. We're all tired Mrs. Kirkland. All I am asking is for you to forget about that phone call right now and let him take Kathy home. Give him a second chance."

"Alright." She breathed a heavy sigh of dismay. "But if this happens again…"

"It won't." Angel added quickly.

"Thank you Mrs. Kirkland." Buffy smiled and took Kathy's bag from her.

"Just see to it she's picked up tomorrow. And don't you think for one second that I won't follow up on those molestation charges Mr. O'Connel." And she clicked her heals away back into her office.

"Angel?" Kathy who had stayed silent the whole time finally turned to her brother. "What's molelessation?"

He fixed her up in the back seat of the car giving her her teddy bear that was stuffed in her bag. "Nothing you need to worry about." He said smiling and giving her a peck on the cheek. Shutting the door he turned to Buffy. "I don't know how I can thank you."

"Did you do it?" She looked at him sternly.

"Do what?"

"Sexually harass that girl. Tell me right now if you did."

"I didn't." He looked her straight in the eye as he gave her his answer.

With every ounce of her being Buffy held her ground and searched Angel's face for even the slightest hint that he was lying. She didn't find it. "I believe you." She answered shortly before she got into the car.

"Look, I don't know how I am every going to be able to make this up to you. You have no idea what you just did back there." He looked back at his sister playing with her bear, trying not to think of the day that someone like Mrs. Kirkland would finally take her away from him.

"It was no big deal. At least now I know that being a doctor's daughter has some pull around here." She starred at the raindrops that started to hit the windshield. At least one good thing came out of her being born into the family she was.

"Honestly Buffy. If there is ever anything that I can do for you, just tell me. No matter how big."

"There is one thing you can do." She said.

"Name it."

"Let me pick Kathy up from school and take her to the babysitters every day."

Angel was stunned. "What?"

"I'm serious. Let me take this responsibility. I have nothing better to do, and from the looks of it you could probably use that extra hour for studying or even sleeping. It'll be one less worry you'll have on your mind."

He just looked at her not quite sure what to think. His whole day had been hell and then suddenly this girl from his dreams showed up asking to take some weight off his shoulders, to make his life a little easier. "I don't know what to say."

"Say yes."

"Yes." He said quickly, a smile breaking out on his face for the first time today.

As they ran through the rain into the bar Angel waved goodbye to Buffy. He was extremely late for work already so he decided just to take Kathy with him instead of taking the chance that their mother might be at home.

"Angel?" Kathy clutched his big hand in her small one, looking up at him with the eyes of the world. In those very eyes Angel saw the future and every night he prayed that it would be better for her then it was for him.

"Yeah?"

"Are they going to take me away from you?" He just looked at her not quite knowing what to say because the day she was born he promised himself he would never lie to her. His angel.


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter 5**

"Vodka Tonic." The man at the bar said to Angel. Without a word he went and fixed the drink, helping feed into the mans delusions that everything would be okay once that alcohol got into his system. There was only one reason why people came to this bar out in the middle of no where. To get away. To get away from life and from their families, there jobs and responsibilities. Whatever it was got left at the door while men and women alike drank away their sorrows in a glass of the poison of their choice. And Angel served them seeing his father and his mother in each and every one of them.

"Angel?" Sam called from the back of the room

"Yeah?"

"Phone."

Angel immediately set down the glass he was drying and headed straight for the phone. He hesitated as the piece went up to his ear. No matter what it always seemed like a phone call was nothing but bad news. "Hello?"

"Hey it's me."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Buffy, hey. What's up?"

"Look, I'm sorry for bothering you at work and all it's just…"

"What?"

"Kathy called. She was at home by herself."

"What?"

"Apparently your mother left her at some point and…"

"Call her and tell her that I'm on my way home."

"Angel wait! She's with me. I'm at your house. Don't worry. The moment she called I drove over. I just wanted you to know what had happened."

Angel looked at the clock nervously. He still had another four hours before he could head home. "How long can you stay?"

"As long as you need. My dad won't really care if I get in late or not. He's busy at the office tonight."

Angel detected the hint of anger in her voice but decided not to proceed any further. "Look, I'll talk to Sam and see if I can get home early."

"Don't worry about it. Just get here when you get here."

"You're sure?"

"Yes already. Now stop slacking off and get back to work." She joked.

"Thanks Buffy. I owe you." He hung up the phone with a smile.

He had been seeing a lot of her lately. Everyday she would pick Kathy up after school and drop her off at her babysitters. And like clockwork she called him to tell him that Kathy was fine. That she made it to the babysitters alright.

They hung out every possible minute they could. Which in actuality wasn't that much. They only had one class together and the rest of the day during lunch Angel usually spent studying or trying to knock out as much homework as possible. She would still sit with him though and give him her quiet company, usually writing in this little green booklet. They were lucky if they even got ten minutes to sit down face to face and actually talk. So any free moments were spent as near to each other as possible.

Angel liked her. He really did. She was the likes of something he had never even seen before. She was beyond gorgeous. So much in fact that he was surprised she didn't have a boyfriend. Sure she had plenty of guys talking about how much they wanted to nail her, but she wasn't in a serious relationship. She had been out on plenty of dates but not one of them had turned into something more. Rumors about her floated around the school though. There were thoughts that she was crazy and depressed everywhere you turned. He generally ignored them though because not a single second he had spent with her had shown any signs of her being anything else but nice. He practically spent every ounce of will power he possessed not to stare at her at times, or ask her out on a date. She hadn't dated guys for a reason and he wasn't about to push. Instead he just settled for being near her as much as possible. And if that's all that ever happened between them, he wouldn't complain.

"Buffy?"

"What sweetie?" Buffy sat in Angel's living room brushing out Kathy's long curly hair.

"Do you like my brother?"

"Of course I do. Why do you ask?"

Kathy frowned and fiddled with her teddy bears ears. "It's just…" she sighed dramatically, causing Buffy to smile at the attitude of the little girl. "He never talks to people."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I hear people say things about him though."

She stopped brushing her hair and turned the little girl around to look at her. "Who talks about your brother?"

"The people at school. They all say he's trouble and that nothing good can come with him. I don't get it. They say that he's a bad people…"

"Person." Buffy quietly corrected.

"Sorry. Person, but I never see him talk to anybody for them to know he's a bad person."

Buffy repeated the lines a couple more times in her head to try and get the little girls words straight. She knew she wasn't getting the whole story. Kathy was four. She didn't even understand half of what she heard.

"Your brother is a very good person. He's just is different then other people and that's sometimes hard for them to accept. I promise you though that he's not a bad person. He's one of the few good guys left."

Kathy nodded her head. "So you're not leaving then."

Buffy tilted her head and frowned. "Why do you think I'm leaving?" Kathy stayed silent. "Kathy, is there something that you're not supposed to tell me?"

"I wasn't supposed to hear him."

"Hear who?"

"Sam. He told one of his friends that everyone that Angel has ever cared for has let him down in life. They all left him. I was just wondering if you were going to leave too." She looked down at the ground ashamed at what she had overheard.

"Hey," Buffy tilted Kathy's head up. "I'm not going to leave your brother, or you. Nothing could make me leave you guys."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now get to bed." Kathy smiled and hugged Buffy goodnight before running up to her room. All Buffy could do was sigh. She loved that little girl to death. Kathy played the part of the sister she never got to have.

Sighing she leaned back into the sofa and surveyed the room she was in. There was nothing special about it. A lone TV sat in the corner while a couple of stuffed chairs were thrown around the room. Several picture frames hung on the wall, containing photos mostly of Kathy as a baby and a few of Angel growing up. Not in a single one of those pictures was there a speck of light in Angel's eyes. He, like her, had grown up well before his time. Which was exactly the type of thing she didn't want to think of.

The things of Angels past that made him the way he was today was something of mixed feelings for her. On one hand she didn't know what had happened to him, she could only imagine. Her childhood played out practically like a nightmare so she had some idea of what kind of pain he had gone through. To hear someone else voice that they also had what is now called a "rough life" would be too much for her. Then on the other hand, she wanted to know what had happened to him. She wanted to help. But his mind was something of a mystery to her. He never voiced what he was feeling, pretending to always be so strong. That's all he knew though. He had to be strong for Kathy. Then there was also the dark feeling down inside that she hated to admit to herself. She was almost happy that his life has sucked. If he grew up normally, if he didn't have to worry about his family and be a part time provider, then he wouldn't' be the man he was today. He would be one of the so called popular kids. The brainiac and the jock. They would have never been friends.

This boy genuinely liked her. He was the first person in this town to actually befriend her. She was considered an outcast to the school and yet here he was talking and hanging out with her. She hadn't had that before. All the other guys in school wanted exactly one thing from her. To use her and then move on. But Angel was different. He was smart. He didn't care how she acted and he wanted to hear her opinion on things. And that was only one of the reasons on why she wouldn't share what was really going on in her life with him.

So they both talked about little things. They both smiled at each other as they walked down the hall. But neither of them knew what was actually going on in each others lives. Both refused to talk about it, the past too painful to open up. And for Buffy…? To tell him that her father wasn't the well loved guy everyone thought he was would just be a sure fire way to push him out of her life. She wouldn't tell him what was going on because all it would do was make him think that she was nothing more then a liar. He would become just like the rest of the town and think that all she was was another teenage statistic, thinking that her life was so much worse then others. Already she was dreading the day he would hear the rumors about her. She knew it would come eventually but it didn't' make that fear lessen.

Curling up on the side of the couch she laid her head down on the arm, trying as hard as she could to forget about her life. Trying to forget what she had become.

"Buffy." A slight shaking of the shoulders woke Buffy up. She hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep. "Buffy." Opening her eyes she saw Angel kneeling next to the sofa, looking like death ran over.

She furrowed her brow. "What happened?"

"What?"

She sat up and gave him a scrutinizing look. "What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong."

"No, you've got something face. Tell me what happened." She sat up and pulled him up onto the sofa.

"I'm just tired."

"No," She put her hand to his forehead. "You're sick. God, Angel. You're burning up." Both of her cool little hands rested on his cheeks.

"I'm fine." He pulled away from her and got up to walk around a little bit.

"Angel sit down. You're not fine."

"Buffy, I told you. I'm just tired. It's been a long day for me."

She looked at him knowing full well that he wasn't about to admit that he wasn't feeling good. "Angel…"

"How's Kathy." He interrupted.

Buffy looked down at the ground. "She's fine." She didn't dare tell him what the girl had confided in her tonight. "She's upstairs asleep if you wanted to see her."

He nodded. "Did you need a ride home?"

"No," She got up and grabbed her purse. Suddenly the room had gone icy and she could feel him pushing her away. She had touched some sort of nerve in the last two minutes and she had no idea how to even fix it. "I drove my car here."

"You should probably call your dad and let him know that you're on your way home."

"I really don't think he cares." She was about to head out the door when his voice called out to her. He realized that he hadn't acted all the grateful to her. She just bailed him out of a tough situation for the second time this week and then when she showed some sort of concern he pushed her aside. But he just couldn't tell her what was going on. He couldn't look into her face and see the same pity that he used to get in his old town.

"Did you want to stay?"

She stopped, her hand inches from the door handle. "What?"

"It's… I didn't mean it like that. I… Well… It's just that it's three in the morning and I didn't know if… You being tired and all I just thought…." He shrugged his shoulders, trailing off.

"I'll be okay." A small smile danced across her lips. "Thanks for the offer though. Night."

"Buffy," He came up to the door to hold it open for her. "Thank you. You didn't have to come here tonight… I owe you big time. If there's ever anything I can do…"

"I think I'll think of something." She gave a mischievous smile and walked out the door, leaving Angel starring after her dumbfounded.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Buffy walked in the door and starred into her living room at the form of her drunken father. "I…"

"I come home after a long day and find that my only daughter is nowhere to be found."

"It was an emergency. A friend was in trouble. I just…"

"A friend? A friend!" He smashed his empty bear bottle into the fire place. "You're telling me that a friend is more important then your own damn father?" He stood up swaying towards her.

"I didn't know you were going to be home tonight." Buffy started backing up, knowing full well what might come tonight. She also knew that if she tried to run it would only make things worse. But when a man of Damons size walks towards you with the look that he gave her at that moment, your gut reaction will always be to back the hell away.

"It's nice to know that while I'm gone at work providing for this damn family you're out gallivanting around getting yourself into trouble. Haven't you brought me enough shame already?"

"It didn't get into any trouble. A friend was…" She didn't finish her sentence before he backhanded her, pushing her into the wall.

"I don't give a fuck about your friend." He grabbed her by her arm, dragging her up to his height. "You're not allowed out of this damn house anymore. You hear me? If I find you leave here then I swear to God that you won't be able to walk for a week." His voice stayed low, the smell of beer assaulting her nose. "Do you understand?"

"Yes."

Throwing her towards the stairs he smiled, leering down at her. "Good. Now be a good little girl and go upstairs and wait for me. I'll be there in a minute."

Angel sat up in his bed gasping for breath. His heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest. Taking in gulping amounts of air he rushed downstairs heading straight for his phone.

"Pick up. Pick up." He pleaded with himself. The things he had seen played behind his eyes still while Buffy's screams resounded in his head.

"Hello?"

"Buffy?"

"Angel. What are you…?"

"Are you okay?"

Silence was on the other line. The only noise that seemed to come across either ends of the phone was Angel's panicked breathing. She was holding her breath and trying to figure out if what he had said was just real. He could possibly know.

"Buffy?"

"I'm fine." It came out as a whisper though.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, look Angel it's late and I'm tired. I'll talk to you Monday." She hung up the phone before he could get another word in. Angel just leaned his head against the wall trying to calm himself. The dream that had awoken him was something he never wanted to see again. Something that he prayed wasn't true. Miles away Buffy hung up her phone and slid down the wall, crying herself to sleep.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

Becky Wellings was becoming a name Angel was learning to hate. A few weeks ago this girl had made a pass at him, mind you she also had a boyfriend at the same time, but she had gotten in a fight or something with him and her way of getting revenge was to start flirting with other guys. Who knows why Angel became her victim, but he did. Not once had he gone out on a date with this girl. In fact he didn't even know her name when she started flirting with him. But she and her boyfriend had made up not to long after this whole thing started. He though was pissed that she was flirting with others during their little time of separation. Things just spiraled out of control from there.

There was no concrete evidence that Angel had done anything to her. But he still had to go to the principal's office everyday during third period, the only class that he had with Becky, and sort this all out. It was a hassle that he couldn't really use on his permanent record at the moment. It was something that should be on no permanent record.

It was after the bell had rung for third period to begin when he finally saw her. He was sitting in the office chairs as usual, trying to teach himself the math he was currently missing at the moment, when Buffy walked in. Silently without a word she handed the office aid her note, keeping her head bent at all times. He didn't think she even knew he was there, and if she did, she didn't show any signs of it.

Angel just furrowed his brow for a moment before jumping up and going after her. "Buffy?" She froze without turning around. "Buffy?"

"Hi," She spoke quietly and kept her head bent.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Of course I'm okay. Why'd you ask?"

"You just seem… I don't know, a little off."

"Long day." She answered her head still down to the ground. "I'll umm… I'll see you later okay?" And without even waiting for an answer she booked it out of the hall and towards her next class. Angel didn't even see her for the rest of the day.

_One weeks later…_

"Hello?" Angel picked up the private line in the back of the bar. His mood was already bad today and with every second that past it was getting worse and worse. He had no idea hat had happened. One moment, he and Buffy are spending time with each other, laughing at each others stupid jokes, and then suddenly she completely ignored him. They hadn't even spoken once since that day in the hall. He had tried to get to her through Kathy, try to pick Kathy up from school in order to see Buffy, but all his attempts had so far failed. So he had to resort to asking his little sister questions about a girl who had suddenly become a mystery to him. All Kathy had to say though was that she was quiet. That was it.

"Yes. Mr. O'Connel please." A clipped tone came from the other line.

"This is him."

"Mr. O'Connel, this is Rebecca Kirkland from Woodville Preschool. I'm calling in regards to your sister Kathy."

His heart stopped. "Is she okay? Is everything alright?"

"I think it's best if you come down here immediately Mr. O'Connel." And the phone hung up.

"Sam!" He grabbed his jacket and immediately rushed out of the back room. "I have to leave… Kathy… I just have to go."

"Is everything alright?"

"I don't know. I just have to go." He ran out the door, his heart beating fast, not knowing what was ahead of him. If anything ever happened to his little sister he wouldn't know what he would do. She was the only thing in this world that he had left.

In record time he made it to the school, not even bothering to shut off the engine as he got out of the car. The only thing on his mind at the moment was getting to Kathy. The halls were empty, causing his running feet to beat loudly against the cold tile floor. Finger paintings of rainbows and butterflies whizzed by him as he raced down the hall towards Kathy's homeroom. He was panting harshly by the time he got there.

"Hi Angel." Kathy sat on the ground coloring and smiling happily back up at him.

"Kathy… What…. Are you okay?"

"Of course I am." She turned back to her Care bear coloring book, currently focusing intently on keeping her pink markings inside the big bold lines.

"Mr. O'Connel."

He whipped around to see Mrs. Kirkland standing by her desk. "Mrs. Kirkland. I don't understand… I thought something was wrong…"

"Something is wrong. Kathy was left here at school once again."

Angel froze. "That's impossible."

"I don't know what was so important that you decided to neglect the needs of your little sister this afternoon…"

"Mrs. Kirkland…"

"Don't interrupt young man! Now your sister was left here once again not even two weeks after we had a conversation about this…"

"Mrs. Kirkland I don't know what happened today. Buffy was supposed to pick her up… She must have forgotten or something…."

"It is not Ms. Summers responsibility to look after your sister. It is yours and your mothers. Now I hate to say this, but child services have to be notified…."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Kirkland. I really am. But I swear to you that it won't happen again. If I would have known that she needed to be picked up I would have done it. I swear. Please, just don't call social services." He looked over at the little curly haired girl coloring happily away, his heart clenching at the very thought of her absence.

"I already have Mr. O'Connel. It's too late." He blanched. "They should be contacting you within the next forty eight hours. I suggest you think long and hard on what will be best for your sister in the future. Her older brother or a responsible role model." She gathered her things and walked out. "Good day Mr. O'Connel."

He was stunned. He honestly had no idea what to even do or say. If the social service people came at a time when his mother was around then they would take Kathy away. No questions even asked. But how was he supposed to get by them without them even meeting his mother. There was no way that anyone was going to sit there and do an interview with a sixteen year old brother and leave the mother completely out of it. But what was on his mind even more was Buffy. He knew she had to have had a good reason for not picking Kathy up, but it just wasn't like her. Usually she would call if she couldn't get to Kathy. Hell, she called if she was going to even be a few minutes late in picking her up.

"Angel?" Kathy's voice penetrated through his thoughts. "I'm hungry." He just looked at her, not quite sure what he should do. "Angel? Are you listening?" She put her little hands on her hips and glared at him.

"Umm… Yeah. We'll… We'll stop and get something on the way to the bar." He sighed knowing that that was another thing that social services would look into. A sixteen year old working at a bar tended to be a huge warning flag. "Pack up your things okay?"

"O'tay." She quickly shoved as much stuff as she could into her little backpack and ran up to him, taking his hand in her little one. "What's wrong?" She immediately sensed something was off.

He kneeled down in front of her and took both of her hands in his. "Whatever happens, I love you. Okay? You have to know that. I love you, and mommy loves you too. Even if she doesn't' always show it. Do you understand?"

She furrowed her little brow. "I know." Her seriousness soon changed though to a little half smirk that was completely rare for a four year old. "Everyone loves me. You want to know why?" He could only nod. "It's 'cause I'm so cute." She smiled big at him, her little nose scrunching up as she did.

Angel laughed and quickly took her in his arms for a hug before she could see his tears.

"Hi, you've reached the Summers residence. We're not home right now, but please leave a message after the beep."

"Hey Buffy. It's umm… It's Angel. Look, could you just call me when you get this. I'll be at work 'till three. Just call me please." He hung up the phone. He'd been trying to reach her all night but all he got was the sound of her voice coming across the phone in the form of an answer machine message. He had already previously left six different messages both on her cell phone, her home phone, and the phone in her room. She had yet to call back.

"Liam, stop talking on the phone and get your ass out here and help me!" Sam bellowed from the front.

"Yeah yeah." He came out and immediately was set to work. Friday nights were always the busiest time for them.

Six hours and about fifty seven vodka tonics later, Angel sighed wearily and leaned up against the bar. Things were finally slowing down.

"Where's your sister?" Sam started counting the register even though they still had another couple hours before the bar needed to close. The people inside here right now were mostly the regulars gathered around a table filled with poker chips trying to play a game that they were to drunk to remember.

"She's in the back asleep."

Sam nodded. "You gonna tell your mom what's about to happen to you guys?"

"Why should I? It's not like she'd care."

"Liam. Talk to your mother. Maybe you can convince her to sober up for a couple hours. You and Kathy mean more to her then you seem to think."

"Yeah? Well, she sure has a funny way of showing it." He leaned his head back against the wall.

"Why don't you go home. You look beat."

"I'm fine." Truth was he didn't want to go home. He didn't want to look at the shambles there house had to be in at the moment. He didn't want to find his mother passed out on the couch. He didn't want to listen to the answer machine where messages from social services were bound to be stored. If it were up to him, he'd stay here in this tiny little bar for the next couple years until he was eighteen and able to take Kathy out of that environment and raise her without any worries.

"Angel…"

"Sam, don't start with me okay? I'm not going home."

He felt the back up Sam's hand hit him lightly in the back of the head. "Let me finish."

"What?"

"I just thought you might want to know who just walked into the bar."

Angel looked up confused, and that's when he saw her. She was dressed scantily in a black leather skirt and red halter. Her knee high boots seemed to cover more skin then those two pieces of clothing combined. It was at that moment when he saw her that he was filled with bitter anger.

She was laughing slightly as her and the boy she was with sat down in one of the booths, his hand immediately resting on her thigh.

"You want to serve them or should I?"

Angel took his pad of paper out and walked over to her. She didn't even notice him until he cleared his throat. "Liam? What're you doing here?" Her eyes were glazed over and she was smiling dumbly at him.

"I work here. Remember?"

She giggled. "Oh yeah."

He shook his head. "Get up."

"What?" She hiccupped drunkenly as the other guy just kissed and laved at her neck.

"I said get up."

"Where we goin'?"

"You're going in the back until I get off work, then I'm driving you home."

"Don' wanna. Instead I want beer."

"You're sixteen. I'm not giving you anything."

"My card," She grabbed her purse and flung it at him. "Says different."

"Just give us a couple shot of tequila to start with man. She's twenty one." The man sneered at him.

"I'm not serving her." He stood his ground.

"Just give us the damn drink kid. She has a legit card." He turned and once again started kissing her neck, his hand slowly disappearing up her skirt.

"Fine." He pulled her up and out of the guys grasp. "How 'bout I call the cops and have them come down here and deal with it. I'm sure they'll love to see you, a… what are you? Twenty four, twenty five? Doesn't matter I guess. They'll just love to see a mid twenties druggy with a girl who looks like a teenager. What d'ya say?"

The guy started at him for a moment before getting up. Buffy was easily able to pull out of Angels grasp and immediately went to the man, rubbing up against him. "Where ya going baby?"

"I've gotta go. I'll see you later." Leaning down, keeping eye contact with Angel the whole time, he kissed her deeply on the lips, grabbing her ass and pulling her against him at the same time. With one finally smack to her butt her walked out of the bar whistling.

Angel bit his lip and ground his fingernails into his palms to keep from running after the guy and beating the shit out of him. He was only snapped out of his reverie as Buffy stumbled in front of him to grab her purse.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Out." She straightened her skirt. "I now have to find another place to spend the night because of you."

"You're not going anywhere." He grabbed her wrist.

"Let me go."

"You're drunk. You're not leaving this bar without me. Got it?"

"You're not the boss of me."

"Does it look like I care at the moment?" He dragged her to an overstuffed chair near the bar and pushed her down in it. She tried to get back up but was to drunk to stand on her own two feet for longer then ten seconds.

An hour later Angel put on his coat and kneeled down in front of her. "Think you can walk to the car?"

She just glared. "I'm not disabled." From the look in her eyes, she was starting to sober up. Her eyes were still slightly glazed over though. Nodding once he got up and went in the back to get Kathy. But the time he was back out front she was already heading out the door.

"Night Sam."

"Night. Drive safe."

Placing Kathy in the back sleep, hoping she would sleep the whole ride home, he tucked a blanket around her before he climbed into the drivers side himself. Buffy sat leaning there against the window starring off into the distance.

"So… Who was that guy?" He asked as he started the engine.

"A friend."

"Pretty damn good friend."

"Angel…"

"Oh, so it's Angel now. God Buffy. You acted as if you didn't even know me."

"I don't know you Angel. I barley know two things about you."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Oh don't give me this bull shit." She whispered harshly. "The guy in the bar is just someone that I see every once in a while. Calm down."

"Calm down? Buffy the guy had his hand up your skirt half the time. That's a little more then just a friend."

"What? I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend? Is that it?"

"Not when it's guys like that." He pulled harshly out of the parking lot and got on the road, flipping on his brights as he went.

"I'm sorry. Next time I go out on a date I'll make sure to check with you first to make sure it's okay. I wouldn't want to upset you or anything." She quipped.

"I thought you didn't even go on dates."

"I don't." She whispered after a minute.

"Then what the hell were you doing?"

"It wasn't a date Angel. Dates don't go like that."

"Then what was it?" He pressed the gas and sped down the empty road.

"Let's just call it a little bit of cold comfort."

He immediately slowed down and looked at her as she starred off in the distance. He hoped for all the world that that answer was out of a drunken rage then anything else. That it was just her not being clear headed. But he knew in his heart that it wasn't.

They drove the rest of the way to her house in silence. Neither one of them not knowing what to say. They had come to a mutual agreement not to talk so as not to wake up Kathy, but both knew that it was all just an excuse. So when they finally arrived at her driveway she got out without saying so much as a goodbye. Angel of course followed.

"What happened to you today?" He shut his door and looked at her expectantly.

She shook her head truly having no idea what he was trying to get at. "What do you mean?"

"Kathy. You were supposed to pick her up." Her eyes went wide and she hit the car with her palm as realization hit her.

"Angel… I'm so sorry…"

"They called social services Buffy. Because of you I could possibly have my little sister taken away from me."

"Angel I'll go down and straighten everything out with Mrs. Kirkland. I promise…"

"It's too late! She already called them. There's probably a message from them sitting on my answer machine right now!" He gestured angrily with his hand, emphasizing his point.

"I am so sorry. I swear I'll make it up to you."

"No, you know what? Don't bother." He climbed out of his car and sped off leaving Buffy standing in her driveway starring after him.

"Damn it." She closed her eyes and whispered.

"So," Sam said in a roundabout sort of way later the next day. "You and this girl seem to be spending a lot of time together."

Angel laughed. "Not really."

"Kid, before last month you didn't spend time with anyone except Kathy and the lonely drunks that you serve everyday. You seeing a girl outside of school, even if only for a couple minutes or so, is seeing a lot of somebody." Angel just continued to dry the glasses and put them neatly back up on the shelf. "Do you like her?"

"Is that any of your business?" Angel slammed one of the glasses down a little bit harder then he should have.

"Cool it kid. It was just a question."

"Sam, just drop it okay."

He looked at Angel thoughtfully and then took the glass he was currently drying away from him. "What happened?"

He laughed bitterly. "It doesn't matter. I should just know by now that my life is never meant to have a single bit of happiness in it. It sucks. The sooner I realize that the better.


	7. Chapter Seven

_**Chapter Seven**_

Buffy sat cross legged on her bed biting her thumb nail. It had been three days since her and Angel had fought. Three days and she still didn't know how she was supposed to apologize. This wasn't something that could be fixed with a simple I'm sorry and I'll never do it again. This was huge. The family he had been trying so hard to keep together might suddenly be pulled apart all because of her. Her heart felt like breaking at the mere thought of Kathy being taken away, so she really had no idea how Angel was feeling at the moment. They both knew that when social services came, it wouldn't matter how nice the house looked, or how behaved Kathy was, it all came down to the mother. Angel played the part of the parent in that household but he wasn't even seventeen yet. To the state, it wouldn't matter if Angel was the best parent a kid could ever wish for, he wasn't eighteen yet so therefore he was deemed irresponsible.

In all the time Buffy had known Angel, which in truth really wasn't that long, she had never seen their mother. Not once had she even caught a glance. Both kids didn't speak of her all that much. She was a non existent figure in each of their lives, and frankly, that's the way they were happiest. If only there was a way to make their mother see that she could possibly loose both her children if she wasn't sober. It would only be for an hour or so that she'd have to actually play the role of a mother, but from what she had gathered that one little wish wouldn't happen. She doubted that Angel would even mention anything to her because in his mind it would probably look better to conduct the interview and say that she had been called on business out of town instead of having her there, eyes blood shot and breathe filled highly with the smell of alcohol. In many ways that was true too.

Sighing she flopped back on her pillow and pinched the bridge of her nose. She couldn't just sit back and do nothing. This was her fault. Angel was the first true friend she'd had since her mom died and she wasn't going to screw that all up just because she had chosen drugs and alcohol that one day after school instead of the responsibility of others lives. Angel and his little sister were what seemed like the only two good souls left in this godforsaken town and she would do everything in her power to keep it that way.

Angel drove frantically to the preschool. He wasn't late or anything. In fact school hadn't even gotten out yet. But he wasn't about to take anymore chances to piss off the school principal. He'd already done that more times then he could count. When he arrived at the school the bell had just begun to ring. Children poured out of the halls running to their parents or grandparents for hugs and to tell them all about the finger paintings they had done that day. Kathy was among them, but she wasn't alone.

"Look who I found Angel." Kathy yelled excitedly as she clung onto Buffy's hand.

"Kath, get in the car." He locked eyes with Buffy.

"But Angel…"

"Kathy, I said get in the car." In a huff she walked off and climbed in the back seat, crossing her arms into one of her four year old pouts. "Don't you think you've caused enough damage?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Then call me up but don't show up here uninvited. You're no longer allowed around my baby sister."

"Cut the bull shit Angel. You know as well as I do that if I called you'd just hang up on me. Coming here like this was the only way I could talk to you without you making a huge scene."

"What makes you think I won't make a scene?"

"Because Mrs. Kirkland is right over there." She motioned to the top of the steps where the lady stood keeping a particularly wary eye on Angel.

"Fine, you have sixty seconds."

"Angel…" She shook her head. "I know that me saying that I'm sorry really doesn't even count for anything. I know that nothing I do is ever going to truly make up for it especially if Kathy gets taken away."

"Thirty seconds." He said glancing at his watch.

"Damn it Angel! Stop this! Now you have every right to be mad at me but you don't know everything that was going on that day. I'm not saying that any of it is going to make up for the fact that I didn't come and get Kathy, because I know it doesn't, but it's not like I just decided not to pick her up."

"No, instead you decided to go out with whoever the hell that guy was and have a good fuck instead."

"Don't you dare even start with me on that! I'm sixteen years old Angel, I'm allowed to make stupid mistakes!"

"Yeah, you are. But not when it involves my sister! I trusted you Buffy! Do you know how hard it is for me to trust people? I don't really give a damn what you were doing that day, but you could have at least picked up the phone and had the decency to call me." He shook his head, ignoring the many disapproving glances he was getting from the parents around him.

"I'm sorry Angel. You have to know that. I made a stupid decision on my part okay. I was upset. You have no idea what I was going through…."

"How the hell should I?" He yelled. "Buffy, you don't tell me anything. You didn't even give me a reason why you didn't show up. I'm trying to understand all of this but you're really not making things any easier here."

"I wish I could tell you what's going on but I just can't." Tears started gathering in her eyes.

"Why not?"

"Angel, I just can't."

"You can't or you won't" She just looked down at the ground refusing to answer him.

"When are the social services people supposed to come?" She quickly changed the subject.

Angel took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself down. "Day after tomorrow."

She nodded slightly filing that piece of information away. "What about your mom? What does she think of all this?"

He shoved his hands deep in his pockets, looking down towards the ground. "She wants to know if she still gets child support from the state if Kathy's gone."

Buffy gave him a sympathetic look. "Is she even home right now?"

"No. She got a new boyfriend and has been spending her nights shooting up at his place. I almost think it's better off that way. At least she keeps out of our way and she isn't stealing money from us constantly. I just hope she's to drugged up to come home on the day of the interview." Buffy wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to respond to all this. There was never really anything you could say comfortably in these types of situations. "Look, I better get going. I have work tonight and…" He trailed off, not quite sure either what he was supposed to say.

"Yeah, I should be going too." She smiled politely at him and walked off to her own car.

Waiting until he was out of the parking lot she picked her cell phone up and immediately dialed an old yet not forgotten number. "Aimee? Yeah it's me. I'm fine. Look, I kind of need a favor."

"Damn it!" Angel hit the car horn three times trying to get the cars in front of him to move faster. But it was rush hour and no one was going to get out of there on time.

"Angel, I'm hungry." Kathy was in the backseat of the hot little car, close to tears. Angel had been late getting off work. The bar had been so busy that he wasn't able to skip out until ten minutes past the time he should have left. Then when he went to pick up Kathy, his car died on him and he had to wait and get it jumpstarted. Now he and his sister were stuck in traffic, fifteen minutes away from home. This all would have been fine if today wasn't the day that social services showed up.

"We're almost there Kathy. Just a little bit longer." He so was not looking forward to the angry service worker that would be standing outside his home. They had probably arrived there just a few minutes ago and were knocking furiously on his door at this very moment. He just prayed though that his mom wasn't there. He'd rather show up to that meeting late than have his mother be in the house when they arrived.

"Come on. Come on. Please just move." He muttered to himself under his breath. He didn't arrive home though until a half hour later.

Pulling up into his driveway the sun was starting to set. A nice white car was parked on the edge of the street and Angel's breath caught in his throat as he realized that the social service worker was inside his house. The lights were on and glowed cheerily at him from his position outside the street. It was all over then. His mom had been home to let these people in and now it was all over. One glance at her and they were probably already packing up Kathy's things.

Unbuckling her from her car seat, Angel picked her up and held her tightly in his arms, almost afraid to let her go. When he arrived at the door his hand froze near the doorknob. He had a fleeting thought of maybe turning around and never coming back here again. Maybe running away forever. But sooner of later they would catch up with him. Stealing himself, he slowly opened the door and walked in the house. Not a single sound reached his ears. Biting his lip he set Kathy's bag down on the entrance table and walked towards his living room. Maybe the car out front wasn't for him, maybe the neighbors had some company. But when he entered the living room his hopes were dashed. Sitting on the sofa was a middle aged woman with a white clipboard, furiously scribbling down notes.

"I'm…" He was about to apologize for being so late when another woman entered his view.

"Sweetie your home." She came up and hugged him tightly. "Where have you been? I've been so worried about the two of you. I called the babysitters and she said that you were having a little bit of trouble with your car. I thought that you two were, heaven forbid, sitting on the side of the rode somewhere having to hitch hike a ride home."

Angel looked at the woman strangely. He had never before even seen her in his whole entire life. That's when Buffy came around the corner, wiping her hands on an apron. "Oh good, you guys are home. Dinners ready." She smiled and nodded for Angel to go along.

"Uh… Good." Recovering slightly he turned to the woman who had hugged him. "We got stuck in some traffic. Rush hour hit us when we got about half way here."

"But you're okay?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Now Angel sweetie, I'd like you to meet Mrs. Farnsworth. She's the social service lady. Mrs. Farnsworth this is my eldest son Liam, and that one there is Kathy."

"Nice to meet you." The lady stuck out her hand and Angel immediately shook it.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting ma'am. I tried to get here earlier but…"

"Oh don't worry about it. You're mother and I have been getting all the paper work and most of the interviewing process out of the way while you were gone. Most of this whole interview you and your sister didn't have to be around for anyways. Now that we've got the adult process out of the way, I just have to talk to you and your sister and I'll be done."

"Oh… well that's… good?"

The lady, the person who was posing as his mother, held out her hands. "Why don't you give me Kathy? Mrs. Farnsworth, the kitchen is this way. We'd be honored for you to stay for dinner."

"Why thank you. It smells just delicious in here."

"Angel?" Kathy looked at him wide eyed as the two adults started going into the kitchen. But she soon smiled and laughed as the Buffy leaned in and whispered something to her.

"What the hell is going on?" Angel whispered harshly to Buffy when the adults were out of hearing range.

"I'm apologizing."

"What?"

"Look, Angel. You know that this interview would be pointless without having your mother here, so I called in a little favor. I explained the whole situation to my Aunt Aimee and she said she would pose as your mother during the interview. It's a good thing too since you and Kathy were late."

"Buffy are you insane? Do you know what'll happen if my mom walks through that door tonight?"

"Do you honestly think she will?"

"Buffy if we get caught we could all go to jail."

"Angel, the interview is going great. Mrs. Farnsworth practically adores Aimee. Now if you can get through dinner without saying anything stupid then you and Kathy are in the clear. Alright?"

Angel looked at her not quite sure if he should go through with it. But the picture of Kathy when she first came home from the hospital, which hung on the wall next to him, made up his decision for him.

"Drive safe now." Aimee called out as Mrs. Farnsworth drove off. "Well, that went over well." She smiled and turned to Angel. "I'm Aimee by the way."

"Hi," He hitched Kathy up on his hip a little bit more. "Look, what you did tonight…"

"Don't sweat it kid. From what I hear, you're a good person who's just had one to many bumps in his road." She smiled and lightly plucked Kathy from his arms. "I'll put her to bed for you. Poor thing. She's practically exhausted." Kathy just snuggled into Aimee's arms, going back to sleep.

Angel shut the door and walked into the living room where Buffy was currently picking some things up for him. "Hey, you okay?" She asked, blowing out some candles. He nodded. "Look, I'll be out of your hair soon, just thought I'd pick up for you a little bit."

"You don't have too."

"I want to. So…" She said in a kind of round about way. "You working tonight?"

Angel groaned. He completely forgot that he still had to turn around and go back into work. "Yeah, I better tell Aimee not to tuck Kathy in. She has to come with me."

"Let Kathy sleep. I'll stay with her tonight."

"Buffy…"

"Angel it's no big deal really. I'll be fine. Besides, it's not like we have school or anything tomorrow."

"You sure?" He really hated to sit and rely on Buffy like this again, but he really didn't want to get Kathy back up and drag her to a bar miles away. Plus, after what Buffy did for him tonight…

"Positive. You get off at three right?"

"I might be a little bit late tonight with me having to miss a couple hours this afternoon." He got up and grabbed his coat and car keys.

"Okay. Just be careful."

He opened the door and paused for a second. "Buffy?"

She walked around the corner and smiled at him. "Don't say thanks. I was just fixing what I broke."


	8. Chapter Eight

_**Chapter Eight**_

"A pitcher of beer and a vodka tonic." A man requested of Angel later that week, a half drugged woman hanging on his arm.

"ID." It came so natural to him. Hours and hours at this bar had made him consider this place his home more then anywhere else. The orders of drinks from people seemed to be the only constants in his life.

The man slipped him the id, proving that he was twenty one, allowing Angel to head off and fix the drinks. He was bone tired. He hadn't slept well these past couple of nights for one reason or another. Mostly he was worried about Kathy. He was worried he wasn't spending enough time with her and that she was spending too much time at the babysitters. But mostly he was worried that his mother was going to show up at one point in time sooner or later and just upset their lives some more. Kathy always seemed to do so much better when their mother was gone. She was a happier child, but most of all she _was_ a child. His biggest regret in life was her growing up to fast. She was one of the most mature children he knew when their mother was around. She didn't want to make anything harder for Angel then it already was, so when their mom was home she mostly staid in her room and kept quiet so as not to disrupt anything. She'd help clean around the house, keep away from their mother so as not to get her on one of her rants, and one time he had even caught her turning off his alarm one morning and going downstairs taking care of their mother's hangover herself. Her little hands holding the painkillers and water, bravely waking their mother up as she lay passed out on the sofa, facing her morning wrath. In the end, she even went to go and get her a beer to dull the pain and then tried to fix a huge pot of strong coffee. She would have seceded too until Angel had came in and grabbed her from behind asking her exactly what she thought she was doing.

"You're sleepy. I can handle mommy on my own. I was just trying to help."

"Angel!" Sam called breaking him away from the past. "Wake up and serve the damn costumers!" Immediately Angel realized he had left the beer tap running, and now the frothy fluid was pouring out over the side of the pitcher.

"Damn it." Pulling back and turning off the tap, he wiped down the outside of the glass and handed it to the man standing by the counter, along with four cold glasses and a vodka tonic. "Anything else?" The man shook his head no as the woman stroked the inside of his thigh. "Twenty two fifty." Angel said, taking the money the man handed over before he walked off with his beverages, leering wildly at the girl on his arm.

"What is with you tonight kid? You keep zoning out on me." Sam started filling up two more pitchers while fixing a rum and coke.

"Sorry. I'm just worried."

"Care to elaborate?"

Angel really didn't so he told Sam something completely different but just as believable. "I have a paper due on Monday and I don't think it's going to be all that great. That's all."

Sam was to busy taking and filling orders to hear the lies laced between his words. "Well snap out of it. Think of it on your own time. Not mine."

Angel nodded, knowing fully that Sam was completely right on this one. Just in tonight alone Angel had broken five mugs, two pitchers, and managed to spill someone's bloody Mary all over their shirt. At least they were drunk enough that their punches were sloppy and easy enough for Angel to dodge.

Hours later, as Angel sat during one of the few brief reprieves he was having this night, he rested his eyes. Wishing for all the world that he was home in his bed. Currently Buffy was at the house, once again watching Kathy, seeing as how there mother had been missing now for over a week. Truth be told Angel wasn't all that upset about it. He was getting used to the fact that he could wake up in the morning and not have to deal with a mother who had a sever hangover, and he could come home at night and not have to hear her bitch about where he was, about how most other sons respected their mothers. Angel was growing so tired of these little rants and raves that he was happy for the blessed silence that was currently in his home. He was getting short on cash though, and his moms work had called a half a dozen times, demanding to know where the hell she was. But the phone bill was long overdue, so he knew that in a couple days time when they finally cut the phone line, he wouldn't have to deal with the incisive ringing at all hours of the day.

"Angel, go home." Sam finally said around two a.m.

"You sure?" He didn't even want to really argue on that one. He was already putting on his coat before Sam's answer reached his ears. "I could stay if you want."

"Naw. It's mostly the usual now. I don't think I'll need anymore of your help. Besides, you haven't really gotten to see Kathy lately. Give her a kiss for me will ya?"

"I will. Thanks Sam, I'll see you tomorrow." Pulling his keys out of his pocket he was on the road and home within twenty minutes.

The house was fairly dark as he pulled into the driveway. The front porch light was on and a lone lamp was shinning through the living room window, but other then that the place was lit only with the blackness of night. Opening the door he hung up his coat and keys, happy for another night that his mom wasn't home.

"Hi," Buffy called from the sofa. A book lay open on her lap.

"Hey," He walked into the room leaning against the wall. "What are you doing up?"

She shrugged. "I'm not really all that tired. Besides, I got this new book the other day and I can't seem to put it down. I've been reading since I put Kathy to bed."

"How was she tonight?"

"Fine. I still can't get over the fact that a four year old has the level of maturity that she does."

"I've tried to keep her a kid since she's been born, but with a mother like ours, maturity is something you quickly gain around here." He said bitterly. For some reason the thought of his mother just kept popping into his head over and over again tonight.

"Any sign of her lately?"

"No, as it should be."

"Angel…"

"What? All she brings to us is trouble."

"She's still your mother."

"Not in my book she isn't. She's just the woman who gave birth to me."

Buffy frowned not really wanting to push the subject much more. She hated to hear the way Angel talked about his mom seeing as how she didn't have one anymore. Sometimes she just wanted to scream at him, tell him that he's taking the fact that he had a living breathing mom for granted in his life. But then again, from what she had heard, she had never been much of a mother to him, even from the time he was born. After all, how could she lecture him on this? Didn't she pray every night that her father would just somehow miraculously disappear? "You look tired." She said, trying to change the subject.

He nodded. "I didn't get much sleep last night. By the time I got home it wasn't even a half an hour later and Kathy called from her friend's house, saying she wanted to come home." He said referring to his sister's slumber party at her babysitters. "By the time I finally picked her up and got her in bed I only got about a half hours sleep before the alarm went off again."

"Why didn't you just sleep in?"

"I have a paper due on Monday. As of this morning, I hadn't started it. It's about half way done now."

"Are you going to be able to work on it tomorrow?"

"Maybe for an hour or so. I have to go to the bank and get some things straightened out with them. They say there's been some unusual activity on the account."

"As in your mothers going wild with the credit card." It wasn't a question; Buffy knew that this had to be the problem.

"Exactly." He flopped down on the sofa next to her. "So what are you reading." She turned the book over for him to see. "A Cry in the Night by Mary Higgins Clark. What's it about?"

"Well, Jenny, a twenty seven year old woman with two kids, falls in love with this guy Eric. After only one month, they get married and move to some farm house in the middle of no where. Jenny's all happy and everything like that until she realizes that her husband is actually like this controlling sicko. He won't let her out of the house really, he doesn't like it when she even looks at another guy, even if it's only a sideways glance or a gesture of a greeting, and he's totally obsessed with his dead mother. On their honeymoon she's in the bathroom getting all prettied up for him and he comes in with this like aqua nighty thing and is all like 'Here' and she's all like 'Oh Eric its so beautiful. When did you buy it?' and you know what he says? He says 'It was my mothers'! Do you know how freaking disgusting that is. To top it all off, he only ever makes love with her when she wears this nightgown. It's really twisted." She smiled brightly. "I love it."

Angel laughed. "So I'm guessing this isn't going to be one of those happily ever after stores then."

"Hell no. If it is I'm chucking this book right into the fire place. This guy Eric has some issues. I don't think he'll be able to redeem himself in the reader's eyes before the end."

Angel nodded. "Guys like that should be shot anyways."

"What do you mean 'Guys like that'?"

"You know," He pulled off his shoes. "Psycho's, pedophiles, men that beat their children and wives. In my opinion each and every one of them should be caught and throw in jail where they're forced to swallow the key or something."

Buffy sat and looked at him for a beat. He wasn't really paying attention to her. He was too busy pulling off his shoes and socks and trying to relax his muscles before he went to bed, to see her face pale in the lamp light. "You really think so?"

"Yeah." He placed his shoes beside the sofa. "Don't you?"

She shrugged not quite wanting to meet his eye. "I guess. I mean, some of them aren't bad guys. They just have something wrong with them. I don't' think they do it on purpose. Something must have happened to them in their life time to make them that way. I almost feel sorry for them at times."

"You're kidding right?" This was sort of a tough issue with Angel. Word from his mother was that his dad used to beat her night after night before he left. This is probably what drove his mom to the way she was. "I don't care what happened in their lives to make them the way they are. They shouldn't turn around and take all the hate and anger from whatever happened to them and force it on other people. It's not right. It's their job to stop the cycle of vicious beatings and rapes, but instead they just continue on growing up to become the very thing that they hid under their covers at night from."

Buffy looked down, her fingers playing idly with the pages of the novel. She didn't know how exactly she was supposed to respond to that. She hated her father, more then anything in the world. But the death of her mother was very hard on him, he had been such a nice and caring man before that. It was her mother's death that forced him into being the man he was today. Buffy, who in her eyes was responsible for this death just found the punishment that her father dealt out to be almost like a form of justice. She had to pay her penance in some form or another. Even though she hated her father and the things he did to her, she deserved it. And she wouldn't want him locked up for something that was her fault in the first place.

"You okay?" Angel touched her arm slightly causing her to jump.

"What? Yeah. Sorry," She put on her fake smile coming out of her reverie. "I should be going. It's late and you need some sleep." She got up heading towards the door where her jacket hung.

"Did I say something wrong?" Angel got up and moved with her.

"No. Don't be silly. It's just that you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow and I don't want to keep you."

"Buffy…" He had to have said something to upset her like this. Yes, she was smiling. But over the past couple of months Angel had learned the difference between her fake smile, the one she usually gave the world, and her own true genuine one. The one that seemed to light up even the darkest of rooms.

"Angel really. You didn't say anything. Did you need me to come by and baby-sit Kathy while you're at the bank?"

He shook his head, knowing full well that he had to have said something, but he wasn't going to push it any further. "No, I told her she could come with me and we'd get some ice cream afterwards. You'll be by tomorrow night though before I go to work right?"

"Yeah." She wrapped a scarf around her neck. "What time?"

"Four."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you then." Smiling slightly she headed out the door and got into her little car, noticing Angel still standing at the doorway, letting the freezing cold air in as he watched her drive away. Buffy couldn't believe how close he had just came to cracking the secret that she dreaded him learning the most.

Inside the house Angel watched her car drive away, shutting the door quietly only when he saw that she had turned the corner. As he walked into the living room he was still confused. What had made her leave so suddenly? Spotting the book sitting on the coffee table he went and picked it up. In her haste to leave she had completely left it behind. Thumbing through the pages like she had done only moments before, Angel turned to the first page. Silently he began reading, the book not dropping out of his hands until he fell asleep three hours later.

"So, did you get your report done this morning?" Buffy asked over ice cream. She had wanted to see him again today. Despite what he had said last night, and the way she had rushed out of his home, she found herself craving more of him. She had shown up at the ice cream parlor much to Angel and Kathy's surprise. So they bought their cones and left, walking through the park in the freezing weather. It was hardly ice cream season in the middle of a balmy November, but it still tasted good all the same.

"We'll go with that." He said as he watched Kathy running ahead, chasing the pigeons.

"Angel."

"What?"

"I thought it was due tomorrow."

"It is. I just have some finishing touches to do."

"How much is a finishing touch?"

"Two or three more pages." He muttered, taking another lick of his cone.

"Liam O'Connel! You have to finish this paper. You're already pulling a D in that class. If you don't hand it in you're completely screwed."

"Buffy I'm tired. I didn't sleep good again last night, I've just spent three hours at the bank trying to sort things I don't really even understand out, and I'm due at work in another couple of hours. The paper is really the least of my priorities."

"If you flunk this class then you're going to have to repeat it again next year. You're already in a lot of trouble with the school Angel. Don't make this any worse on yourself."

"It's nice that you care Buffy. I'll be fine. Really. When I get home tonight I'll just sit down and not get back up until I finish it."

"The question now becomes if it's going to be any good seeing how you're sleep deprived."

"I've worked on less sleep then this. Besides, I do well under pressure." He smiled lightly as he saw Kathy start jumping in puddles and humming an off key version of Singing in The Rain.

"Where'd she learn that one?" Buffy laughed slightly at the little girl.

"It's her babysitter's favorite movie. She hums it almost non stop. Kath! You're going to catch a cold! Come back her with us!" He called to the youngster. She stopped and looked at him with a big smile. Her scarf hanging off her neck and her little Madeline looking hat lopsided on the top of her head. Getting one of those evil little grins on her face as she stood in the middle of a puddle she bent her knees. "Kathy." Angel said warningly, raising an eyebrow. It didn't seem to matter though because she scrunched up her nose and jumped high into the air, coming back down with a loud splattering of water, the whole time keeping her eyes on Angel. "Come here you little mongrel." He ran after her as she shrieked her protests halfheartedly, causing a few older couples to sigh and cluck their tongues at the behavior and noise the two of them were making. Buffy just laughed though.

Picking her up he held her in his arms tightly, her feet completely off the ground. "What did I just tell you?"

"That I'm going to catch a cold." She giggled as he swung her around a little, acting like he was going to drop her.

"So why'd you jump in that puddle?"

"You told me that I was going to catch a cold and to come back to you. You never said I couldn't jump in that puddle before I listened to you. You need to be more spefific." She said, butchering the word specific.

"Yeah yeah. Just look what you've done though. You're a mess from head to toe." He said, indicating her muddy boots and jacket from the puddle she had been splashing around in.

"I know." She said proudly. "That's why I'm a little mongrel."

He laughed shaking his head. "I've never known a girl that took being called a mongrel as a compliment." Placing her down on the ground he took her little hand. "Come on munchkin. We need to go home and get you into some dry clothes."

"Buffy, are you coming with us?" She said, turning her little eyes up to hers.

"Of course. I'm babysitting you tonight again."

Callie smiled and swung the arm that was currently attached with Angel happily. "I'm going to take a bath when I get home."

"You bet you are. Thanks for sharing anyways though."

Buffy was walking beside Angel at this point in time, looking and admiring the love he had for his little sister. Anyone that would look at them at the moment would easily be able to see that this little girl held Angel's heart more so then anyone else ever would. Buffy didn't even want to think about what kind of shape Angel would be in right now if they hadn't succeeded in saving Kathy from the orphanage. If this girl was ever taken away from him, he wouldn't be the same. His life would end that moment.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, still holding tight to Kathy's hand

"Nothing. Just that fact that I don't think I've ever seen to siblings more perfect for each other then you two. I don't think she could ask for a better brother."

Angel smiled at this, those simple words meant a lot to him. "You never told me. Do you have any siblings?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nope. My mom went through menopause shortly after I was born. I was considered the miracle baby. The doctors thought she'd never have children. But she wouldn't listen to them and instead just kept trying. She was really stubborn."

"Kind of like someone else I know."

"I'm not stubborn!"

Angel raised an eyebrow at her. "If you're not stubborn then what are you?"

She looked at the sky thoughtfully for a second. "Special." She said finally, causing them both to laugh.

"I'll give you that one."

"Angel." Kathy tugged on his hand.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you just kiss her?"

Angel and Buffy both stopped walking and looked at the little girl. She was giving off the perfect air of innocence. "Kathy…. Why… where… Why would you say that?" Angel fumbled over his words while Buffy just stood by in shock.

"Why not? You two are making those eyes at each other that my Matilda says means relief is needed on both sides."

Angel's eyes went wide at what his sister said. "Who's Matilda?" Buffy squeaked out.

"Her babysitter." He said distractedly. "Kathy, where and when did you hear Matilda say this?"

"She was watching TV with her friend." Kathy had no idea what she had implied with her previous words.

"Do you even know what any thing you just said means?"

"Of course I do. You two are going to go home and get all hot and sweaty and those googly eyes will eventually lead to bumping in the sack."

Angel just closed his eyes, making a mental note that he'd have to talk to Matilda about what she said and watched while Kathy was around. "Kathy… You can't… Don't… Just don't repeat any of that to _anyone_ ever again. That's not something you should be saying. Got it young lady?"

"I can say that if I want to." She stomped her foot

"Excuse me?" He looked at her with a warning note in his voice and posture.

"You heard me. I can say what I want. It's not my problem that the two of you want to have a good fuc…."

"KATHEIRNE ELIZABETH O'CONNEL!" Angel shouted before she could finish that word. "Don't you _ever_ let me catch you saying that word ever again! You hear me?"

"But Matilda said…"

"I don't give a damn what Matilda said! Matilda needs to learn to watch her mouth! If I ever hear you saying that ever again you're not going to like what I'll do to you."

"You're not the boss of me!"

"Really? Then what am I exactly? If it wasn't for me you'd be in some orphanage right now. Social services would have dragged you off a long time ago."

"Go to hell."

He looked at her. Buffy couldn't even believe what had just come out of the little girl's mouth. "What did you just say to me?" His voice grew grave. "Think really hard how you answer that question Katherine, because you're not going to like what will follow if you back talk to me again."

She stuck out her bottom lip, tears starting to gather in her eyes. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

Angel took one look at her face, twisted up with regret and little girl sadness. He knew he shouldn't blame Kathy, that wasn't something she was supposed to hear, and luckily she didn't understand. He was just so mortified at the moment that he didn't know how he was supposed to act, he just knew he had to make it clear to her that she couldn't go around saying this to people. If she said something like that at her school they'd be all over Angel's ass in a heartbeat. "When we get home you're going straight to bed. Now start walking." He said coldly.

"No, Angel I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"Move." He kept his voice low even though people were already beginning to stare at them.

"Angel…"

"I'm giving you until the count of three to start walking." She just looked at him with hiccupping sobs. "One… Two…" She scrambled and began to walk, her little form shaking with tears.

They walked in complete silence for fifteen minutes. Buffy didn't even dare breath. Angel was so tightly wound at the moment she didn't want to add onto anything. Kathy was still in front of them, her sobs not lessening any. She couldn't even begin to count the amount of people that watched them walk by, looking disapprovingly as Kathy walked steadily in front of them, silently crying her little heart out. It wasn't until they had walked out of the park and reached the cross section that Angel started to thaw out. While they were waiting for the signal to walk, Kathy slipped on a cold patch of ice and fell, scraping her knee. She just kept crying the same amount though, trying desperately to not be too loud, afraid that his might upset Angel more. So instead she got back up on her own, allowing the little bits of blood to start pricking the surface of her skin, and didn't say anything about her cut, trying her hardest to just suck it up. Sighing Angel knelt down next to her and pulled her into a hug as he felt her hot tears hit his neck. She let loose and threw her arms around him, crying hard. "I didn't mean it. I promise. I'm sorry."

"I know you are Munchkin. It's just… you can't say things like that."

"I didn't know it was bad Angel I swear."

"I believe you." He stroked her head trying to calm her. "Next time you hear something that you don't understand though, I want you to come to me before you say it to anyone else, okay?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad please. I'm sorry."

"Shhh…." He tried to calm his sobbing sister. It was so rare that he got mad at her, whenever he did she seemed to almost have a meltdown because she was so used to yelling being thrown back and fourth in their house that all she knew was that yelling equaled bad. "It's okay. I forgive you. I'm sorry I yelled at you." Standing up straight he still held her in his arms. "Come on, let's get you home."

Kathy was settled down in the next room with her coloring books, the previous incident long out of her head. "Hey," He walked into the living room to find Buffy reading the book she had left there the other night.

"Hey," She looked shyly up from her book

"Look, I'm sorry about that whole thing…"

"She's four Angel. She didn't mean anything by it."

"I know, but still…" He sighed. "I hate when I have to discipline her."

"You had to make it clear to her that that was wrong. Every kid goes through that. They overhear something a grown up says and wanting to be a grown up too, not feel like an outsider, they repeat it. You set the rules down though Angel. She's fine. She's in the other room coloring, all of this forgotten."

"You're not offended?"

"As I said before. She's four years old. Plus she's cute. You can't stay mad at a little face like hers." She looked at the clock. "You need to go to work."

He rubbed his eyes and got up grabbing his backpacking, hoping he would maybe get some time to write some more of his report if the night turned out to be slow. "Make sure she goes to bed early. She looks kind of tired."

"No problem."

Giving one last look at her he left the house, heading out once again to the bar in the middle of nowhere, finally giving thought to the very first things Kathy had said.

"Why don't you kiss her?"


	9. Chapter Nine Part One

_**Chapter Nine**_

**Authors Note**: I'm going to have to split this one up into two parts because it's ten pages long on my computer. Also, in between my updates I want to encourage you guys to go check out the story New World Rising by Faith Slayer89. She's a good friend of mine and I have to say that this story she is currently writing is blowing me away. I think you guys would definitely enjoy it.

To AngelBuffyFluffin: LOL. The beating issue is actually coming up in this chapter. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything. I've purposely wanted to establish Buffy and Angel's relationship first. I'm afraid though that it's only mentioned a little bit. I do have big plans for this problem though. Believe me, it's going to be… well, sad. grinds evilly

"Buffy?"

"What Sweetie?" Buffy was busy painting a pearly pink coat of nail polish on Kathy's tiny fingers. She promised her that tonight would be all about girlie stuff. Buffy was going to allow her to play with makeup all night. Most kids learned to experiment with these things at a young age. They would raid their mothers bathroom and come out with bright red lipstick that smeared their cheeks, while wearing one of their mothers dresses with high heals and a pearl necklace that dropped down to their skinny little knee's. Kathy though, could never really experience this. Yes, her mother had tons of makeup; dark eyeliners to go with the deepest of reds for her painted lips. But those things were just going to be makeup to Kathy. They weren't going to have any sort of special meaning, they were just going to be another part of their mothers life that Kathy shouldn't even know about. So Buffy had brought over several kits with all her makeup, and decided to let the little girl go wild. Kathy needed to stay a kid as long as humanly possible.

"Do you have a daddy?"

Buffy froze. "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

She shrugged a little. "I don know. I just wanted to know what a daddy was like."

Buffy stopped painting Kathy's nails and looked at the girl curiously. "What happened?" She knew something was bugging at that little face of hers.

"When I was at Matilda's, one of the other kids asked me why I didn't have a daddy and I sayed that I just never had and he told me that that was weird because daddy's are what keeps families together. Why does everyone else have one and I don't?"

Buffy picked the little girl up and placed her on her lap. "You're family is just a bit different from other ones. There's nothing wrong with it. Plenty of families don't have a daddy or a mommy."

"They do?"

"Yeah. Look at me for example. I don't have mommy. I don't even have a brother or a sister. Not having a dad is normal now a days Kathy. It's nothing you should be ashamed of."

"But what am I supposed to say to people when they ask me why I can't ever bring anyone to family day at school or I can't make anything for anybody of fathers day?"

Buffy sighed and brushed strands of hair away from the little girls face. "You tell them the truth. Tell them that you're daddy went away a long time ago, but you now have a brother who takes care of you just as well as a dad would, sometimes even better. As for fathers day, make Angel something. I'm sure he'd love that."

"It's just not the same." She mumbled.

Buffy smiled sadly. "I know exactly how you feel."

"Hey," Buffy had just finished putting Kathy to bed as Angel walked through the front door. "You're home early."

"The bar was slow tonight." He said hanging up his jacket.

She frowned. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothin'."

"You're a horrible liar, did you know that?"

He laughed. "Do you think you could stick around for a while tonight?"

"Umm… yeah. Why?"

"You don't have to. I mean, it's really not that big of a deal I just…"

"Angel, breathe. Why do you need me to stick around? Did you need to go out or something?"

He shook his head. "Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to just kind of hang out tonight." His feet shuffled back and fourth on the soft carpet entry way as his fingers idly played with each other.

Buffy smiled a little bit. "You mean you actually want to get to know the person that watches your sister and tucks her into bed every night?"

Angle just started to fidget more. "If you don't want to…"

"Angel," She laughed. "Of course I want to. I was just giving you a hard time. It'd be nice to know a little something about the guy who I hear so much about."

"From who?" He looked at her sharply.

"Kathy? Why, who'd you think I was talking about?"

"No one in particular. This town just has a different view of me then others, that's all."

Buffy's tone with sharp and clipped. "Yeah, well the people in this town kind of need to learn to mind their own businesses and worry about their own children that they are currently screwing up instead of others."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "Do I sense a little resentment here?"

"I've lived here practically my whole life and there's one thing that I learned about this place a long time ago. Private business is never private. Quite frankly I'm surprised you haven't run from the house screaming yet."

Angel took of his coat and started toeing off his shoes. "I'm guessing the people of this town don't like you much."

"Haven't you heard? I'm a liar and a thief, a menace to society." She put on a mock air of richness to her.

"I don't really have time to listen to the things people say about each other in this town. It's always either school work or taking care of the family work. Kathy probably is more up to date on the town gossip then I am. Besides, they probably only talk about you because you're well off in life. People are just jealous of that." He started to walk upstairs, motioning for her to follow.

"No, it's just that I've said some things in my time that no one wanted to believe. They all just think I wanted the attention or something." Opening the door to his room, Angel ushered Buffy in. "Most people in this town just seem to think that my life is so great since my dad has the most money here."

"What kind of things would you say to make them rag on you so much?" Angel thought nothing really of this question. To him it was nothing more then mere words, a way to start a conversation so as to get to know each other a little bit better. He had no idea about the impact that it really drew.

"Nothing." She said quickly. "I just…. It was nothing. People in this town just really don't like it when I complain about something in my life. They can't possibly conceive that the daughter of a rich man could have anything wrong in her life. All the old bitty's probably sit around at tea time and say how I'm selfish and that I shouldn't be going on about my problems seeing how there are people in this world less fortunate then me. I mean, I completely get that. I'm not starving and I don't lack a roof over my head at night. But that doesn't mean I don't still have problems. Becoming rich doesn't just magically whisk them all away. I think I'm supposed to just be seen through a glass window and sit and look pretty."

Angel grinned, sitting down on his bed. "Tell me how you really feel."

Buffy laughed off some of the tension, realizing she had been pacing and speaking quite animatedly. "Sorry, it's just that… smalls town are the worst."

"I don't' know. I kind of like it here."

"You're kidding."

"No. It's nice here. The towns small and intimate, the people here are just as interesting and screwed up as they are in LA or New York, and it's good for Kathy. I couldn't really ask for a place much better then this to raise her in."

Buffy sat down right next to him. "You don't find it weird that you're raising a kid at this age?"

"I'm used to it. I've been doing it since my dad walked out." He looked at her a little bit. "I guess I really don't remember any other way."

"You have to remember something about life before you're dad left. I mean you were what, twelve when he bailed?"

"Eleven. But life was getting screwed up long before then."

"How so?"

"Mom was the same as she was now, only probably with a little less alcohol in her, and my dad was, I don't know. He was out late all the time supposedly working to keep food on the table since mom was a stay at home mother, or at least she was supposed to be. But even at the age of eight I remember having to take care of myself and pick up after my mom when she'd get drunk."

"You're dad never tried to get her to stop?"

"Honestly? For the longest time I don't think he even knew. That's how much he was at home all the time."

Buffy nodded. "I have theory… Do you want to hear my theory?" Angel nodded for her to continue. "I think that people are branded when they first come into this world, it's this random fifty fifty brand, it's nothing that you've done to deserve it, it's not personal, you just get it. Anyways, when you're born you get this brand either saying you'll grow up to be a good person or a screw up. But once one screw up reproduces, there's a more likely chance that when their kid is born that its brand is going to be a screw up kind too. Only one in a million screw up children turn out to be someone who'll actually turn things around in their family line. And you Angel, are one of those millions."

"That's a pretty whacked theory you got there."

She shrugged. "I get bored easily."

Buffy sat back fairly comfortable with him. It was strange how she barley knew this guy, even though she had been watching his sister for over a two months now, and then suddenly she's in his bedroom ranting to him about their small narrow minded town and their hypocritical ways. It all came naturally around him though. She didn't feel as if he would judge her at all. And that was one of the many reasons that she would soon realize why she was falling for him.

Slowing she looked around his room, taking it all in. A lone desk with a banged up old computer sat in one corner, a butterfly chair sitting in front of it to serve as a computer chair. The bed, in which they currently sat on now, was shoved up against one wall to make room for the small reading corner that he had with a bookshelf that was quickly overflowing with hard leather bound volumes like Canterbury Tales and Dante's Inferno. But, in one of the corners in the room remained the most enticing piece here. A spiral staircase stood, its white polished wood glowing eerily as the moonlight spilled in the windows. "What's that?" She asked it without even really thinking.

"A stair case."

She smacked him on the arm. "I know that, I mean what does it lead to."

Angel looked at it a little wistfully. "Before my dad had gone MIA, he had torn down the attic and kind of just made a little loft like thing in here. He added this stair case in when I was about six." He got up off the bed where Buffy followed. Now that she was aware of it, she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before. You could see into the next level to this room. Its front was wide open, no wall there to block anyone's view. "Dad made it so he could see down into my room and I vice versa since he used to work up there all the time. He wanted to make sure he would be able to keep an eye on me while I played while he did his work, really the room is just a little open aired loft or something, like in studio apartments."

"That is so cool. I wouldn't think a house like this would have something this neat. My house is just boring plain craftsman's ship."

"From what I can remember about my dad, he always liked to work with his hands. I guess he practically remodeled this whole house at one point in time." He looked wistfully to the loft up above. "You'd never know though seeing how mom usually messes things up when she's on one of her little drunken binges. This is really the only surviving piece of him left. I don't' know why I even keep it."

"Why do you say that?" She took her eyes off the loft and turned to Angel to see the anger slowly spreading in his eyes, the most expressive part of his face.

"He wasn't a father to me, he walked out on all of us when we needed him most. Instead of staying and facing mom's problems and the fact that she was three months pregnant and the doctors said that the baby probably wouldn't live if she kept up all the drugs and stuff, he just walked out. He left me and an unborn baby with a drunk and didn't look back. He doesn't deserve to be remembered. I usually try to keep anything that might remind me of him out of sight. But this…?" He looked up at the loft still, lost down memory lane of some sort. Seeing past ghosts of a little boy and his father laughing and playing up there on the faded rug, the father's glasses a skewed as he read the newspaper while his son fell asleep in the sunlight that was streaming through the window. "I couldn't part with this for some reason."

Buffy had kept her eyes on his face this whole time, watching the emotions play across them. "Can I see it?" She asked quietly enough so as if he wanted to say no, he could just pretend he hadn't heard her words.

Angel turned, peeling his eyes off the images of his childhood. "You want to see it?"

"Yeah."


	10. Chapter Nine Part Two

He just kind of looked at her for a moment before heading towards the staircase and climbing up. As the room came into Buffy's view she almost gasped. Black and White pictures lined the wall, filled with icons like The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin and Peter Frampton. She walked all around the room, running her fingers over the old fashioned lamp and lounge chair that sat in the corner as the thatched rug rubbed under her feet. A little desk with folders and books and pens scattered all around the top, sat at one side up against the fence that separated the open air with the floor. Just as Buffy reached a bookshelf that she was sure was lined with once again more leather bound classics, Angel had flicked on the light. She was shocked though to see the bookcase lined with old records, one after another, crammed into every available spot.

"Oh my gosh." She whispered it in awe. There was close to five hundred records staring her in the face as the old player sat in the corner, shockingly undusty. She smiled. "Do you play these?"

Angel had come up behind her understanding her amazement as she took it all in. He had seen each and every one of these before, even listened to them, but he never was able to get over the fact that right before his eyes were some things that people were currently paying millions for on E-bay. "Of course I play these. They kind of calm me down after a bad day."

Buffy lightly touched the outer casings of them all. "Are they all just unknowns or something?" She couldn't see any of the names on the old vinyl records.

Angel slowly started to smile and was grateful that his father had left all this behind. "Take a look."

Biting her lip, wondering what she would find, she randomly picked a record and pulled it out, her eyes went wide. "Creedence Clear Water? You have an original Creedence Clear Water record?"

He nodded

"Angel… that's… do you even know what you have?"

He laughed. "Believe me. I'm well aware of what I have up here. Look around the room Buffy."

Setting down the record with great ease she looked around the room, not really noticing anything different from when she first entered here, but her eyes strayed closer to the walls finally and her mouth went dry with shock. "The White Album." She looked at Angel as her eyes went as wide as they could go. "You have the White Album."

He nodded once again laughing at her expression. He never thought he would be able to shock and awe a girl like Buffy. A girl who seemed to have the perfect life. "I have all The Beatles records."

Buffy looked around the room and sure enough each and every Beatle record was hung prominently on the wall, the records and their casings framed side by side. Buffy went up and looked at them more closely, her reflecting appearing in the glass that covered the precious items. "This is insane. It's unbelievable." Angel slid down the wall and watched as she walked all around the room, looking at the framed records in turn, taking them all in. "How the hell did you get your hands on these things?"

"My dad." He said simply. "He was this big music fan. He loved every aspect of it and bought all the records he could. He used to go out every pay day to a little vintage shop a couple towns out, and he'd come home each time with three or four new records. Apparently he had been doing that from the time he was thirteen. There was one day when I was probably about ten that he spent the whole day up here, taking out every single Beatles record that we owned and listening to them, and then framing them and sealing them shut."

She turned to him. "You've never listened to these things? How could you never listen to these things? Aren't there like hidden messages in them if you play them backwards?"

"You referring to the whole 'Paul is dead' thing."

"Well, that seems to be the most obvious one."

"I've heard it before. My dad played it for me all the time. I was absolutely fascinated with it for some reason asking him to play it for me every single time he was up here."

"You were a morbid child." She deadpanned to him.

"Hey. I was curious."

Smiling she slid down next to him on the floor still gazing at them all in utter amazement. "You must have millions sitting here. Beyond millions in fact. You probably have more money then my dad does."

Angel shrugged. "I guess. I mean, whenever we're in it pretty bad I usually sell one of these. One of the less popular ones, but… I just can't really bring myself to sell it all. I may hate my father but some of my best memories of him are when we would listen to music. I have to believe that at some point in time he was a good guy. I don't want to think that the time that we did spend together, however little it actually was, meant nothing. That it wasn't a lie." He said, trying carefully to choose the right words in hopes she would understand. "You probably don't get that."

Buffy looked down at her crossed legs. Isn't that what she always hoped for? Was for at one point in time her father and her did have fun? That she wasn't scared of him when she came home, wasn't afraid to see what he would do to her if she didn't do exactly what he said. Part of her needed to also believe that somewhere within the monster a good man still lived. The dad that used to put her up on his shoulders so she could watch the Macy's Day Parade better, or the dad that would buy her the biggest ice cream cone they could find when they went to the park, he had to still be inside there somewhere. He had to still be a nice guy. And that was partly the reason why she hadn't ran away forever yet. She was still holding out with the hope that her dad, her real one, the one that didn't treat her as a ten dollar whore, was in there some where. "Believe it or not, I know exactly what you mean."

Angel looked at her funny. He knew something was up. He wasn't really sure what but he knew that something was wrong with her and he was guessing that it had to do with her family. How many times was he able to count the looks that she gave when Kathy and him were together? How many times had she given that far off nervous look as he mentioned certain things? More then he could even count. But what was he supposed to do? He didn't feel comfortable with approaching her, confronting her about any of this. He barely even knew this girl. Tonight alone he had learned more about her then he had in the past couple of months. But there was something lurking deeper in her. That same something was the reason she had been out with that guy the one night, and the night she didn't pick up Kathy. But right now, he needed to just settle for her taste in music and not her life story.

"So, what's your favorite song?" She asked, trying really hard to change the subject around.

"My favorite song?" He was completely aware of the abrupt change in subject, but he didn't dwell on it, if she didn't want to talk about it, then so be it. :You can't just pick one song. There's so many out there. To pick one song is just impossible."

"No it's not."

"Oh really? You have a favorite song?"

"Yup."

"You going to enlighten me then on this Buffy wisdom."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you think that I'm some little rich girl who probably only likes pop albums." She crossed her arms with a defiant smirk on her face.

"Buffy, the fact that you knew that if you play The White Album backwards you hear 'Paul is dead' proves to me that you don't really go for the boy bands.."

"Got that right. I like plenty of music. I like Areosmith, and Green Day, Aimee Man, SugarCult, The Eagles, Switchfoot, Creedence, The Beatles, Queen, and the list just goes on."

He smiled. "So in this whole entire diversity of music, which one is your favorite song?"

"American Pie by Don Mclean hands down."

Angel looked at her in shock. "You're kidding me."

"Nope. That song is the best one out there no mater what anyone says."

Angel laughed and pointed to a wall where a picture of Don McLean stood out with frames holding photos of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and The Big Bopper in a frame right beside it. The frames that surrounded them were ones filled with depictions of the process of the age of innocence going straight into Hell on Earth. The burning of the flags, the revolution of rock and roll music, black rights, protests and riots, anything that seemed to be talked about in that song stood proud against the white board they were posted to, the lyrics of American Pie printed behind them.

She smiled and shook her head. "I should have known."

"I told you. My dad loved music." Getting up Angel went over and pulled out a record case, seeming to know exactly where each and every vinyl laid on that crowded shelf, putting one on and letting it fill the room with the haunting words of the Eagles Hotel California.

Buffy leaned her head up against the wall practically in heaven. This was perfect. Up here no worries seemed to follow her. The room seemed to take them away the moment you entered.. She heard Angel slide down beside her again.

"So was your dad a musician or something? I mean, with the way he loved music so much you would think that that would be his perfect profession."

"He was a singer in high school and college. Apparently that's how my mom and him fell in love. She came to one of his performances in an outside park like thing in the seventies and fell in love with him as he stood up there singing some sort of song about the revolution or something like that." He smiled. "God they were so in love."

Buffy wanted to ask what happened, but didn't want to push it. Besides, tough subjects like that were probably best shied away from at the moment. She didn't want him opening up to her only to have him ask her some personal questions himself, backing her into a corner.

"Any of his talent rub off on you?" He looked down a little embarrassed as he just kind of shrugged. Buffy slowly broke out into a smile "Are you lying to me?" He was silent. "It did didn't it?" She said excitingly. "What do you do, sing, play an instrument? Come on, what'd you do?"

He turned to her. "It's nothing really. I just… I write a little bit. That's it."

"You write songs?"

"Yeah."

"Do you sing them too?"

He nodded. "And play them on the guitar."

She turned to him and jumped up and down in her sitting position a little. "That is so cool!"

"It's just an outlet to frustrations. I haven't really written anything for awhile. I sing what's already made mostly."

"Can I hear you?"

"No." He laughed. "No way in hell is that one happening."

"Oh come on! If your dad was a singer then you've got to have a good voice too."

"My music is just a stress reliever that's all."

She squinted her eyes a little bit and leaned forward like she was about to tell him a secret. "So you're telling me that if I went over to that desk right there, none of the papers that are scattered around the top would have original songs that you composed on them?"

"I never said that."

She smiled and leaned back triumphantly for the moment. "Sooner or later you're going to have to sing for me."

"Keep dreaming." They were silent for a moment, just listening to the music waft around the wood walls of the room, looking at the moonlight that poured through the window. "So, I've told you stuff about my life, now it's your turn."

"What?" She said a little shocked. She had been trying to keep the conversation off of her.

"Come on. It's only fair. Look, we'll keep to safe topics. Tell me about your dad. I mean, he's obviously not the person that everyone else see's." Buffy's head snapped to his as she looked at him with unhidden fear. "I just mean," He added at her look. "That he can't be the perfect icon that everyone looks up to. That's just inhuman. Not that he's a bad man or anything." He rushed quickly. "I mean he's obviously this stand up guy. I just mean that since you're his daughter you've got to know something that others don't. Something that humanizes him a little bit more. Shows me that he's not a fake."

Buffy bit her lip and looked everywhere around the room except at Angel. Her eyes skipped nervously from picture to picture, begging the still forms to give her a way to get out of this situation as tears came to her eyes.

"Buffy?" Angel couldn't miss the wetness that was now shinning through her usual happy exterior. "I'm sorry Buffy. I really didn't mean to say anything bad about your dad. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I shouldn't have even asked…"

"No, it's okay really."

"Then why are you crying?"

She ran a hand through her hair and wiped her teary eyes on the sleeve of her red shirt. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go all weepy on you. It must be that time of month or something. My hormones are out of whack I guess."

Angel was about to say something when it caught his eyes. As she lifted her sleeve to wipe away the tears, her wrist was slightly exposed. Dark fingerprint bruises were clearly seen on her arm. The deep purples and green's stood out prominently against the pallor of her skin. He slowly let the situation drop, feeling uneasy about all this himself as thoughts that he knew had to be completely ridiculous filled his head. But thinking back on it, he couldn't' remember a time where he had seen Buffy in anything other then jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt.

Getting up and giving her a little bit of privacy, trying to get his mind off certain thoughts himself, he went and took the Eagles off of his player and turned away as he searched for another record as Buffy dabbed the rest of her tears away so as not to smear her eye liner. She had a brief moment of terror as she realized that her bruises had been exposed slightly, but she just kept telling herself that if by some small chance Angel had noticed, he had obviously shrugged it away, or he didn't believe her like everyone else in town did. Either way though, she tugged her sleeves down a little bit more, holding them in place with her fingers.

The record player clicked for a few minutes, the static filling the now silent room, and then Paul McCartney's voice wafted up as "Maybe I'm Amazed" came on.

Buffy smiled as he turned to her. "You know, it's said that this song was written about his wife before she died of cancer. The words, the feelings, every ounce he puts into it when he sings it now still lets you know that he loves his first wife like no one else." She sniffled a little. "People like him are the only reasons why I think that love exists somewhere out there. It's not always happy, and it's definitely not always easy, but for some, it's there and it's true, and unfortunately it usually ends with heartbreak."

Angel looked at her sadly, not realizing he was moving toward her until his words had already been spoken and he had extended his hand. "Dance with me?"

Buffy looked at him with a little bit of confusion written on her face for a moment before smiling and taking his offered hand. In all her life, in all the boys she had seen, not a single one of them had ever asked her to dance. There dancing usually was either done in the back of a car or in-between the sheets. It hit her then how much different Angel was compared to all the other guys out there. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands touching her waist lightly, Buffy sighed. This was perfect. Her life didn't exist here. Here all there was was sweet love songs where beatings didn't touch their words.

And it was here in Angel's arms that Buffy finally felt safe.


	11. Chapter Ten

_**Chapter Ten**_

Authors Note: I've been getting a lot of reviews from some of you commenting that this story kind of reminds you of your own life. I never really thought about any of this. Nobody I know has ever been in a situation like this before. All of this is purely written from my own head and things that I can only imagine. For those of you that feel a connection with these characters I bow down to you. Not only for putting up with your day to day hardships, but for still being here today and facing these problems head on. You people, no matter how young or old you are, are definitely heroes in my life. Don't ever lose hope. There's always another bend in the road. This entire series is now dedicated to anyone who has even remotely gone through this tragedy.

Sincerely Your Author

Dana

"Angel. Angel. Angel!"

Angel sat up in bed looking around the room for the source of his disturbance. His alarm sat on the other side of the room beeping heavily. Rubbing his eyes a little bit he looked to his right seeing his sister standing there fully dressed clutching her teddy bear. "What?" He glanced at the clock and realized that it was well passed noon. Buffy hadn't left until around six this morning, the two of them spending the rest of the night talking over music and books, getting to know each other a little better as time went on.

"Moms home." He had never heard Kathy's voice more mature then at that moment. She said it as if she was accepting some sort of bitter fate.

Panic immediately flitted through out his mind. Fear seeming to take control of every single nerve. He would never show Kathy this though, he would die before he let her show how scared he actually was. Pushing his feelings down, taking a deep breath himself he pulled the covers back and got out of bed with dread, picking up Kathy as soon as he was steady enough on his feet. Walking up the staircase in his room he planted her on a rug and gave her some paper and crayons that he kept up here for her. Then walking over to his record player he put on David Bowie in hopes that it would drown out the yelling that was about to come with the meeting between him and their mother.

Kneeling down beside her he put his hands on her shoulders. "I want you to stay up here and listen to the music. _Don't_ under _any_ circumstances come out of this room until I come up to get you okay?"

She nodded her head once. "She has her boyfriend with her." Her words were so soft he wasn't quite sure he had heard her correctly, but knowing the kind of life he had, of course her boyfriend was going to come into play during this fight. It was just another way for some sort of cosmic forces to mess with his life just a little bit more.

Angel just looked at her fearing what would happen when he went downstairs. If this was the same boyfriend that she had disappeared to all those weeks ago, the same one that spent hours with her just shooting up and basking in the feeling of their highs, then things could get ugly really quick.

"Just stay here." He said for a response to her monotone words. Bravely he got up and quickly pulled on a white T-shirt, mentally preparing himself for the task at hand.

By the time he had opened the door to his room he could hear the muffled voices down below. Clearly his mothers laughter rang out through the kitchen and the sounds of the two of them smacking lips lied just underneath. Rounding the corner he got his first glance of them. His mom was up on the counter, the guy that Angel didn't even know the name of standing in-between her legs, his hands lying firmly on her breasts, the two of them sitting in lip lock. His mom murmured something that caused the two of them to laugh quietly, sharing some sort of private joke that Angel was almost positive he didn't want to know. It took a few more moments of this before his mother was even aware that Angel had entered into the room

She laughed slightly and put her hands to the guys shoulders so he would pause his ministrations on her mouth, he just turned to her neck though and kept his hand perched on her breast like no one else was in the room. 'Honey, what are you doing up?"

"It's noon." He responded, not considering the fact that if she hadn't have came home today he would still be lying blissfully unaware of the world around him in the soft comfort of his bed.

"Noon? Already?" She giggled. "Time sure seems to fly around here doesn't it?" She stroked the mans hair lovingly, her eyes closing in half pleasure as the pressure on her neck increased.

"What are you doing home?"

"I live here."

"No you really don't."

"Oh really? Then whose name is this house under?"

"Dad's."

An expression of anger crossed her features and she ignored the man in front of her. "I told you not to say that name in this house."

"It's a title. Not a name."

"Liam Angelus O'Connel…"

"Don't start going all parental on me. I really can't stomach it on four hours of sleep." He uncrossed his arms and went to the refrigerator, preparing himself coffee. There was no way he was going anywhere near his bed today or tonight for that matter, as long as this guy was in the house.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that." Angel didn't answer as he heard her hot temper begin to take her over, it was nothing more then the usual habits with her. He instead poured the water into the coffee machine, getting his mug out of the cupboard. "Angel hon, don't do this." Her voice seemed to soften a little and she actually was able to pry herself away from the who had lightly begun kneading her breast, and come up next to her son, putting her hands on his shoulders. "Don't be mad at me. I came here to share good news with you."

"No, you came here," He shoved her hands off his shoulders. "Because you needed a few hundred for your next fix. What's wrong mom, did you miss relying on your seventeen year old son for you heroin and meth?"

She slapped him so quickly that he didn't even feel it until his tongue licked the blood gathering at the corner of his mouth. "Don't you ever…"

"Speak to you like that again?" He finished her sentence for her. "Yeah, I believe you've already told me that line this morning."

She glared him down. "Here I come with the news of things beginning to look up for the family, for us to get back on our feet, and this is what you greet me with? Angel, things are about to get better for us. Don't you understand that? Isn't that what you've always wanted?"

"Things have been better mom! You've been gone and things have been great! Kathy's happy, I'm happy, we don't have you passed out on the sofa every morning and every night. We don't have the cops showing up at our door at three in the morning because they've arrested you on another DUI! Things have been good since you've went off with your new flavor of the week and started screwing him over instead of us!"

Angel was pushed up against the refrigerator in seconds flat, his feet a good two inches off the ground as he was held up by his shirt. This was the first time Angel actually got a good look at the man before him. Angel was tall, but this guy was huge, six five, six seven even. He looked at Angel maniacally, fitting the typical greaser creep. He was the kind that you see as the wife beaters in all the movies, wearing one of his stained tanks, the five o'clock shadow prominent on his face, the smell of alcohol stenching his breath and everything else around him. But most of all, you saw the blood shot eyes that was full proof to the drugs that were coursing through his system making him feel invulnerable.

"Seth!"

"Leave it alone Kalira. I'll handle him." Seth said, his voice slurred to the point where it was almost comical. Angel kicked out and was able to get Seth to drop him, only to be shoved backward onto the counter, being pinned down by the older mans superior weight. Dishes crashed to the ground breaking loudly enough to alert anyone in a good radius of the house. Angel could only glance upstairs though, praying silently that Kathy headed his words and stayed up in the loft. "You'll be showin' your mother respect now ya hear?"

"What are you going to do Seth?" Angel spit out his name like there was something foul in his mouth. "Hit me?" The guy was mad. Angel needed to keep his mind on the subjects before him before he went looking for more tender flesh to beat.

"I just might."

"I'd have social services back over here in a second flat if you even laid a hand on me."

"And take the chance of being forced into a home? You look smarter then that boy." He grinned showing his yellow teeth, his words actually proving he was a lot smarter then he looked.

"Let go of him Seth." Kalira said softly. "He's not even worth it. He gets like this all the time. It's just his temper. You just have to learn to deal with it."

Angel bit back his words of protestation, deciding it would be much better to just keep quiet. Seth soon let the grip he had on his shirt lesson and then let go, backing away. As he did so though, he made sure to grab Kalira by the waist, showing Angel with perfect clarity that he now possessed his mother, mind, body, and soul.

Angel sat up straitening his shirt and looking at the two people in front of him. "Get out. You have no right to be here." He directed towards his mother. "God, do you even care that Kathy almost got taken away from us?"

"Of course I care. Kathy is my baby girl."

"Then why didn't you come back?" He yelled, he never seemed to be able to hold his temper when it came to his mother. "Social services came and…"

"And what? How did you even manage to get past them without me here."

"It doesn't matter." He said after a moment. "She's safe. For the time being at least. The only question now is, is that if you knew that we would have no chance what so ever with social services if you weren't present, and if you love your _baby girl_ so damn much," He looked at her dead on, ignoring Seth's presence all together. "Why didn't you come back?"

She didn't answer him. This only fueled the fire more and more for Angel. "You don't even give a damn about us do you? We're just there to pick you up when you need…"

"Of course I care about you two! That's why I came back." Kalira said with so much force that for a moment, just one moment, Angel actually believed her, thinking that maybe she had finally changed and was going to be there for the two of them. But that moment was brief

"If you really cared about her," He said, not even mentioning his own name in all of this, his sister was the card he needed to use at the moment. She was the baby of the family, the ones that mothers always seem to have some sort of special place for, "You wouldn't have came back."

His mother didn't really know what to say. Nobody, no matter how horrible of a person, ever wants to hear their children say those words. It doesn't matter what you've done in your life, your kids are your kids. You worry about them, even if you won't admit it or if you don't know it, you still worry about them. It comes naturally. "Get out mom. Please. I don't think Kathy can take it much longer."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that your too late in saving me, you've screwed me up permanently, but Kathy still thinks of you as her mother, as someone she can trust and look up to. She's still naïve enough to carry that kind of innocence. Don't stay here and soil that thought of her. Just leave. If you go now she might still hold to the chance that you're a good person."

Kalira looked at her son, a hint of anger flitting across her gaze. "I've changed."

Angel threw up his hands. "For how long? Until you get bored with us again? I mean seriously mom, how many times have you told me that you were going to change? That we were going to be like a normal family? Let's face it, ever since dad left you've been a mess just waiting for the next male that comes along to promise you all sort's of pretty things and a couple grams up meth. You disappear for a little while and then when they dump you, or they decide to quit drugs, or hey, here's my favorite, when they _O.D_, you come crawling back here telling me that you've changed and that you're a different now. And every damn time I fall for it and pick you back up and put you back on your damn feet only for this stupid cycle to start all over again. I'm not doing it! Not anymore. Kathy deserves better then to hear us fight and to have the hope that maybe she can tell her friends that her mother is home, that someone can now come to the parents teacher meetings and parent nights, that someone can bring the cookies and juice on her snack day for the daycare. She doesn't deserve to have that taken away from her once again. I don't deserve to have to deal with that. God mom, I'm seventeen and I'm raising a four year old! I'm doing your fucking job!"

"I've never heard you complain before." She spat out.

"Because if I didn't do it then who the hell would?" He said with a deadly calm. "She'd be in a fucking orphanage if it wasn't for me." Seth moved towards Angel again, ready to step in for the whole cussing in front of his mother thing, but Kalira put a hand on his shoulder, motioning for him to stop.

"I'm getting married."

Angel's heart felt like it had stopped as those words were spoken. All he could really do was look between her and Seth. They stood side by side, Seth with a look of utter satisfaction on his face and his mother with that look of superiority that he had stopped listening to a long time ago. "To him?" He knew it was a stupid question but it wasn't really something he could avoid saying.

"Seth's a good man Angel. He'll be able to help us."

"We don't need his help."

"Angel," She tried to pacify. "You can't continue to take care of Kathy, the strain is starting to show. Seth here can help lift that burden…"

"He's not coming anywhere near Kathy."

"Sweetie, you're sick. You can't continue to do this to yourself. The doctors said…"

"What doctor's mom? The ones dad took me too when he was still here? The ones that said I'd only have a year or so tops if we didn't get immediate help? Yeah, look how right they were." He said sarcastically

"You don't have a choice in this. It's happening."

Angel shook his head. "Not if I can help it."

"Angel?" A soft voice came from the doorway of the kitchen. Seth, Kalira and Angel all stood facing each other off, Angels back to the door. Slowly though he turned to the voice and his anger faded somewhat.

"Buffy, what are you…?" He trailed off taking in the cut on the right of her temple. Immediately he was by her side. "What happened?"

She looked at the two other people standing only a few yards away from her. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No." Angel answered before anyone could really deny it. "Nothing of importance at least." She gave him a look, knowing he was lying because of the bitter anger that was under his soothing tone.

"I could come back…"

"No," He said firmly once again.

Silence overtook all of them as Buffy looked uncomfortably at the faces across from her. She knew she had walked in on something that was important; she also knew that the conversation she had interrupted wasn't really something that needed to continue until all members of said party cooled down. Each and every one of them looked like they were about to pop.

"Angel, aren't you going to introduce us?" Kalira said from the other side of the room, not a hint of friendliness in her voice.

"Wasn't really planning on it."

"Angel," Buffy said softly causing him to sigh.

"Mom this is Buffy. Buffy this is my mother Kalira." With a pointed look from both Buffy and his mother he continued. "Oh, and that's Seth." He didn't offer up the information that he was Kalira's new fiancé.

"It's nice to meet you." Buffy said to the two of them, knowing now the impact of the situation she had stumbled into.

"You too. Are you a friend of Angels?" Kalira asked, giving a pointed look at the word friend.

"Yeah, we umm… we go to the same school together and I help baby-sit Kathy."

"Do you now?" She looked at Angel. "Why isn't the daycare center good enough for looking after Kathy."

"Maybe that's because I work most nights when daycare is over, hence the name _day_ care."

"Well, I'm here now. You can be relieved of your job."

"Yeah, we'll see about that." Angel said just as deadly as his mother. Buffy suddenly knew where the stubbornness came from in this family. "If you'll excuse us, I think I'm going to take Buffy to my room so we can talk."

"Like hell you are." His mother stepped forward, Seth right behind her ready to in force the situation if need be.

"Don't worry mom, I'm not careless like you. I'm a responsible person remember?" He took Buffy's hand and walked off, not even looking back until he shut his door in his room.

"Angel, really, I can come back later…"

"Sit." He instructed her while he went and got some water and bandages. She didn't really feel like challenging him at the moment. Instead she spent her time looking up at the ceiling hearing David Bowie blast from above. He stormed back into the room a few minutes later, wearing a scowl upon his face as he headed towards the staircase, tossing the first aid kit to the bed she was sitting on. A few soft muttered words could be heard above, letting Buffy know that Kathy was safely tucked away upstairs out of harms way, before he came back down, kneeling in front of her.

Taking a q-tip and ointment out he diligently started applying it to her cut. "You gonna tell me what's going on?" He asked as she hissed in pain as the medicine came in contact with her skin. "The truth this time around would be nice."

She looked at him startled slightly. "The truth?"

'Yeah, you know, the opposite of lying." He bit out, placing small butterfly bandages over the thing that would soon scar.

"I know what the truth is Angel."

"Then you shouldn't have asked the question."

She shoved away from him and got up. "I didn't come here for this."

"Yeah, then why did you come here huh? What the hell is going on Buffy?"

"Nothing is going on!" She said as she crossed her arms in defense.

"No, don't give me that bull shit! I've had just about enough of that kind of stuff from my mother today, so I really don't need it from you too. I would like it if someone would finally tell me the truth. Tell me what's really going on with you." She was about to protest. "And don't you dare tell me nothing Buffy because I'm not that stupid. You're one of the most caring loving people that I've ever met. The way you handle Kathy is amazing. And yet I find you in bars with other men getting drunk and high, I have found bruises all over your arms to many times to even count, you come over here with your eyes still red and puffy from crying all night long… These are not things normal people with 'nothing' going on in their lives do!"

She stared at him. "I hit my head Angel that's…"

"You came all the way over here when I know you've only had maybe at the most three hours sleep just because you hit your head?" He quieted his voice not really realizing that he had been yelling until that moment.

"Alright, fine, you caught me!" she threw her arms in the air and spun around slowly. "Take a grand old look Angel, you're looking at the pathological liar of our good old town."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't you know? Haven't you listened to them all talking? I'm sure some old lady's come up to you and has warned you about me looking after your sister, seeing how I beat myself up just to get a little bit of attention around here!"

Angel just shook his head and sat down at the edge of the bed. "Buffy, you're not making any sense."

"I'm a freak Angel! It's really not that hard to understand!"

"Okay," He got up and moved towards her but stopped by the time he was only a few feet away for the look she was currently giving him. "We got off on the wrong foot here. I'm just mad because my mom's shown back up that's all. I didn't mean to yell at you." She just stood and glared at him still though, her arms staying crossed, not really giving a damn what was going through his head at the moment. "Please, Buffy, I'm sorry. Talk to me. Let me help you with whatever it is that's actually going on."

She laughed bitterly. "You know what? Don't bother. You can stop treating me as your own little charity case now."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh look at poor old Buffy, the outcast of the town, look at poor little rich girl, maybe if I befriend her then I can take my mind off my own problems." She said mockingly

He gave her a look of disbelief. "Is that what you think I'm doing? Pitying you?"

"Why else would you stick around like this, let me stay away from home when all the rumors about me are constantly circulating this damn town?"

"Buffy I told you, I don't know a single thing about this town! I'm to busy to even pay attention. If anything wouldn't I be considered your charity case? I mean, I am the one that's raising a kid here on my own with no money! I would think that the town would be talking about how sweet it is that you took pity on me."

"Don't flatter yourself Angel."

"Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Is it working?"

"Buffy what the hell is going on?" He shouted.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." She grabbed the coat she had previously flung off storming towards the door. "You know what, your mom's right. You can find yourself a new babysitter." And the slamming of Angel's bedroom door echoed through the entire house until the screeching from her tires could be heard pulling out of the gravel driveway.


	12. Chapter Eleven

_**Chapter Eleven**_

**Authors Note:** Alright, so I owe you guys an explanation for me not posting for a long time now. Truth be told, it's really a long and boring story about my evil grandparents, enjoying the rest of my vacation, and me hating that I've turned seventeen. Oh! And the addition of eight new cats in my life, seven of which I had to bottle feed, three of which didn't make it. The verdict is still out on three more of them. So, in conclusion, I am very sorry for not posting, life got in the way. Well, that and writers block.  I hope this chapter makes up for some of it though. Oh and cra-z-lunatic, thank you so much for your review. It meant a lot.

"You can't ignore me forever."

"Yes I can."

"Angel…"

"Don't call me that." Angel managed to keep all anger out of his voice as he washed and dried the breakfast dishes. He assumed this morning when he had woken up to be entering into hell on earth. Instead, the smell of scrambled eggs and bacon had assaulted his nose, causing him to wonder if he had fallen asleep in some strangers home. The image of his mother at the stove, cooking, cooking without a bottle of cooking sherry in her hand, was still an image that was all to new to him. He wasn't going to let that image fool him though. He knew that the moment he believed that she had actually changed would be the moment she left, leaving Kathy in a mess of tears while he once again took over the role of parenting. So for now he would wash the dishes and keep his distance from his mother and Seth, who surprise surprise, was living with them.

"I've always called you that."

"You have no right to call me that."

"Ang… Liam, I know I haven't' exactly been the best mother in the world but I'm trying to change." She picked up a clean dishtowel and started to help him dry. "I'm not saying that you should immediately accept this and start treating me good or even pretend that everything is normal because it's not. I screwed up in the past. I wasn't there for you or Kathy and as much as you want or try to deny it, we're family. You can't change that no matter what you do."

"Family is kind of a lose term."

She sighed as she calmly took away the plate he had been drying furiously throughout her speech. "I'm trying." She said to his right. He had kept his head straight forward. "I'm trying very hard to fix what I broke here. It's going to take some time, but I promise you, I've changed."

Angel stood still with his hands gripping the counter. "It's every single time with you isn't it?" He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I've changed, this time it's going to be different. I promise. So if you've changed, if you've suddenly become this so called saint, then why the hell did you bring that son of a bitch into the house?"

"Seth is a good man."

"No, Seth is your out. All he does is make you feel good about yourself."

"And is that really such a bad thing! Is _my_ _happiness_ really such a bad thing?"

"Yes!" Angel shoved off from the counter with a bang. "You say you've changed, you say that you want to bring this family back together, actually _be_ a family for once, then you need to actually try that! You can't make amends for everything you've done and be happy at the same time!"

"Oh really?"

"Don't give me that oh really crap. You know as well as I do that that's the truth. You can't have both worlds mom. It's either us, or him. There's no in-between here."

She shook her head. "You can't ask me to make that kind of decision."

He crossed his arms. "I didn't ask."

They stood face to face, both mother and son glaring each other down. Even when Seth walked into the room they kept their eye contact.

"Everything okay in here?" He asked as he took a protective step towards Kalira.

"Nothing you need to worry about." Seth look at Angel challengingly.

Kalira took one last look at her son before turning to Seth. "It's okay. Just parent children drama." She pulled it off with an air of truth but neither Angel or Seth looked as if they believed it.

Moments of uncomfortable silence passed in the kitchen, while the world spun around them, as lives continued on outside of the thin walls. Angel was the first to even dare move.

"Where are you going?" Kalira called as Angel grabbed his coat.

"Kathy!" He yelled upstairs and within seconds she came bounding down, her pigtails bouncing around with her.

"Where are you going?" Kalira repeated once more. "It's Saturday, neither one of you has school."

Angel shrugged on his coat. "I'm dropping Kathy off at her friend's house to spend the night."

"When was I going to find out about this?"

"Now."

"Angel." He ignored her. "Angel." Still no response. "Liam."

"What?"

"Don't you think what my daughter does should go through me first? Seeing as I'm her mother and all I'm thinking that her activities should be approved by me."

"Tell you what," Angel helped Kathy put on her sweater. "Prove to me that you've changed, that things really are going to be different this time around, and then we'll talk about it. But until then, I'll continue to be the adult while you're the teenager." He took Kathy's hand and slammed the door before his mother could protest.

Buffy lay, starring up at the ceiling in some cheep apartment. The bruises that were once just fading reminders of what kind of man her father was were now deep shades of purple and green. She didn't know what made him drive into her this time around, what made him decide that the bruises on her inner thighs needed to be painted darker from his cum and her blood, and frankly, she didn't care to find out either. She had laid there on the itchy rug as his sweating body was supported above her, and after he had passed out into his drunken sleep, she had snuck out. The first guy she saw at the club was the one who she went home with. Not of course before a quick fuck right up against the pulsing speakers of the club and then in the alley behind it.

Now here she was, two rounds later, starring up into the pealing plaster of a low rent apartment. Her oh so wonderful "Knight in shinning armor" sleeping soundly beside her. She didn't even know his name, nor did she want too. All she wanted was a shower and bottle of painkillers for her hangover.

Getting up from her position on the bed, she quickly ignored the soreness between her legs and pulled on her clothes. Leaving no note, no means of contacting whoever it was that was snoring on the bed beside her, she left the building and begun to make her route back home, praying Damon had left for work already.

But upon arrival it was painstakingly clear that her prayers weren't answered. The moment she opened the door her body was once again slammed up against a wall.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Damon spat as he maneuvered a knee between her legs and held both her hands above her head.

"Nowhere."

'Nowhere? I wake up and you weren't here. I consider that somewhere. Now you have one more chance to tell me where you've been." Buffy starred and looked at him defiantly, something she knew wasn't such a good thing to do. But she felt numb today. She was past caring for now. 'No? Fine."

Flinging her around he threw her down onto the floor. "You ungrateful little bitch." He said as he stalked towards her. "I work all day, saving lives, rarely is it when I actually get some time off. But when I do," He kicked her hard in the stomach, "When I do, it should be all about peace, relaxation and a chance to unwind a little. But instead, I spend it worrying about my daughter and what she's blabbed around town this time around." Once again he delivered a hard kick to her midsection. ''You better be pretty damn thankful that I'm well respected in this town. Because I swear to God," He bent down and pulled her up to his eyes level by her hair. "If anyone, absolutely anyone, finds out about our little secrete," He twisted more hair in his hand causing her usually blond hair to darken in some places with blood. "I will kill you. Do you understand me?"

Buffy looked at him, willing at the moment to do anything in order to make the searing pain in her scalp go away. She nodded quickly, but grimaced as it only managed to rip out more locks.

"Good. I'm glad we've come to an understanding." He said as he let go of the hold he had on her. Buffy waited until he had left the room to even dare get up. Once she did though, she made a b-line upstairs and to her bathroom. Shutting the door quickly and locking it. She hadn't' even noticed she had been holding her breath until she leaned against the wall and let out all the air in her lungs. It took her a few minutes to feel as if she could move once again. Silently she walked over to the shower and turned the water on full blast, making sure to get it as hot as she could.

Steam was quickly filling the bathroom, making the pounding that was currently happening in her head, calm down the tiniest of bits. She walked to the vanity, opening the mirror for some sort of painkiller. The only thing they had was some baby aspirin though. So with shaky fingers she opened the bottle and pulled out five of the tiny capsules, swallowing them dry. Her hands reached up to close the cabinet, leaving her face to face with her reflection, something she hardly even recognized.

Blood stained her hair and matted it to her head while the rest of it had dried black on her temple. The blackness of this stood out to an extreme to the white exterior of her cheeks. The tears she hadn't even known she had cried barley showed up on her delicate face because of the pallor that was currently its color. She held her chin up a little higher at this surprise, her jaw line straightening out. She was refusing to cry anymore tears. That wasn't going to happen anymore today. She had made it through today alive. That at the moment was all that mattered.

With a defiant look she climbed into the shower and let the water wash over her, turning her skin pink. Every bone in her body ached as the water tried to soothe it all away, washing down deep shades of the once clear liquid. It took her a while to finally get herself clean. It seemed like every time the blood had stopped running, she would somehow open one of her many cuts once again. It wasn't until an hour later that she got out of that bathroom and padded to the safety of her room where she quickly locked the door. Nothing was going to make her go downstairs until she knew her father had left for work. She had already made the mistake of getting in his way, making herself an inconvenience to him once today and she wasn't about to do it again.

Five o'clock slowly rolled around though, and soon Buffy heard the car pull slowly out of their drive way. With a sigh of relief she went downstairs with the intent to get something to eat. All she had to do though was lay eyes on the floor before her, the place where she had previously laid pinned to the ground, and her appetite fled. Still intent not to shed a tear though, she grabbed her coat and left the house. She wasn't about to let demons of her past haunt her today. She was going to turn things around today. With what, she had no idea though.

In her mind she had nothing left. She didn't have a family, she didn't have friends, and she had no self motivation to do anything. So what was there in this world that could be rightfully called hers? What would drive the pity and self doubt out of her mind? Her only answer was the one thing she knew she couldn't face after her explosion the other day with him. He seemed to be her salvation in life, but after yesterday she doubted she could even say that anymore.

Slamming her front door she started walking, no destination anywhere in mind. She just had to get away. Away from life, away from this broken house, away from everything that existed in her pathetic little universe. All she wanted was to be normal. What had she done to deserve this kind of treatment? She was just a mere child when her mother had died, and yet it still seemed like her fault. It felt like God was punishing her for something that was most likely out of her very hands. God and her father. Was there a difference between them at this point though?

Harshly, she kicked the can in front of her, taking her aggression out on something that had no control over its destiny either. Somehow she had found herself in the park at this time. Meaning she had been walking for well over an hour. But that didn't matter. Damon would be gone at work until the next morning, meaning she had all night to do whatever she wanted before getting punished for these very things.

Part of her wanted to proceed onwards more, not turn back, go to the club she had inhabited last night and forget. Maybe she could find someone there with one of their oh so special "miracle cakes" and pretend to be someone else for the night again. There was bound to be someone there wanting to give her what she needed in turn for screwing her into the wall. She wasn't the only one in this world who wanted to get away from life, even if she didn't always realize it, meaning that others would be at the club tonight, looking for the same out she was. This idea was only sounding better and better as she went on. Just as she was about to turn onto the road and stick out her thumb and find that said relief though, she spotted him.

He was sitting on one of the many benches in the park, his head in his hands, still and silent. The messages and thoughts of her having no right to go over there shot through her head. She knew that after yesterday, the possibility of him welcoming her was going to be a slim one. She knew that she should just continue on her way and pretend like she had never even seen him. She knew all this and yet her feet still carried her over there.

So deep in thought he was, he didn't even look up when she sat down mere inches away from him. "Hi," She said softly, weighing whether or not this was the right decision.

His head turned slightly in his hands as he looked at her, staring her down, almost as if she wasn't real. "Not exactly the person that I thought I'd see today. Or wanted to." He added just a quietly to her hi.

Looking down at her hands she replied. "I'm not pretending like I didn't screw up yesterday. I did. Badly. And I'm not even going to pretend that me being sorry, which I am, is going to help any of this. You have every right to be mad at me. It's just…" she shrugged. "I saw you sitting here and I couldn't just walk away. I just wanted to see if you needed to talk or anything." He didn't answer her; he sat in the same position, just looking at her with a blank expression. Buffy read this as her queue to leave. "Right. Sorry. I didn't mean to bother you." Standing up she hiked her purse up on her shoulder and started to walk off, kicking herself mentally for thinking she would have been able to sit down next to him after what happened the other day. A hand slipped into hers though before she could even take two steps away from the bench.

Looking down she saw that his fingers were entwined with hers, tugging them lightly so she'd come back to him. Without much protest, she did, sitting softly beside him, not making a sound. The ball was in his court. She wasn't going to make any moves here, she'd just follow him.

"Do you ever hate your parents?" He asked softly, still holding onto her hand but not quite looking at her. "Probably not huh? I mean, your dad isn't exactly the laughing stalk of the town. Doctor, smart, pays his taxes, actually takes care of his children; they're not things that tend to upset people." Buffy wanted to tell him that even these great high society people that he viewed as the perfect role models had faults. Especially in her family. But she didn't feel like now was the right time to talk. Or she just didn't want to mention anything having to deal with her father at the moment. "My mom brought back a new boy toy. She's busy right now spouting words of how she's changed and how much better our lives are going to be and how great Seth is… God! I can't even count how many times she's said that shit to me. I used to believe it too. I guess after being disappointed by her so many times though I kind of learned not to trust a damn word that comes out of her mouth."

"So why are you so upset?" She ventured softly

"Because it's the same bullshit every damn time with her! She's going to stay and pretend like we can be a normal family, Kathy is going to get attached, love the fact that she actually has a mother, and then she's going to up and leave us again. I don't want to take this anymore. I'm sick and tired of her crap! Kathy and I have been happy these past few months and suddenly she shows back up with this guy who looks like he's some ex convict, a pedophile or something, and she expects me to welcome her with open arms? She's actually trying to have a say in what Kathy should and should not do. She has no right to this. But I can't very well keep doing what I'm doing either. I mean, I'm not eighteen, I have to listen to her, and unfortunately, soon enough Seth." Buffy just looked at him strangely. "Oh that's right, you don't' know about the wonderful icing on the cake," He bit out sarcastically. "They're getting married."

"What?"

"Yeah. That was my reaction too." Buffy looked at him full of sympathy. "He's going to want to exert control over Kathy and I. That's not something I can let him do though. Buffy, I'm scared to even leave my sister alone in that house now. I don't know what he's like, I don't know if he'll hurt her while I'm not there."

"Angel… maybe he's not as bad as you think he is."

She was trying very hard to shed some sort of good light on the situation. Angel though only had to pull the collar of his shirt down a little bit and show her the bruises from Seth's hold on his neck yesterday morning. "Yeah, he's definitely a saint at heart."

"I'm sorry." There really wasn't anything she could say to make any of this better.

"I don't know what I'm going to do Buffy. Mom has legal control over Kathy. All she'd have to do is report me for doing something and I'm out of the house and Kathy will stay with them."

"She's not going to kick you out Angel."

"You don't understand. Seth has this control over her. I'm not sure how but he seems to be able to… I don't know! I just know that if he really wanted me out of the way, I would be. I can't leave her there though. All that would end up happening is she would wake up one day a couple months from now and mom would have left without even a note." He leaned back into the bench and ran a hand through his hair. "The last time she left Kathy cried herself to sleep when she was at daycare. She didn't want me to see her being weak or something I guess, so she waited until she was out of the house. Her babysitter called though and told me, asked me if anything was wrong. I don't want her going through that again. I don't' want her to get her hopes up that mom is here for good. Four year olds aren't even supposed to think about how it will make other people feel when you cry around them! And yet she does. She's had to grow up so fast and with mom and Seth being here, it's only going to speed up that process."

"But maybe she has changed this time Angel."

"I can't believe that. The moment I do she leaves."

"Angel, maybe this is different. You don't know yet. She might surprise you and turn her whole life around. I mean, has she been drunk or high any of the times you've seen her lately."

"No."

"So maybe she is changing."

Angel was silent for a moment. "That's the thing though. She actually believes this time around that she can do it, that she can change. I've never seen her more convincing. The things I said to her today… When I was little, she wouldn't have let me get away with that crap. She wouldn't let me a couple months ago get away with it. She's just tell me how selfish I was being because in her mind she wasn't being a bad parent. But now? She looked at me today when I said those things in a way that I've never even seen her do before. She had remorse in her eyes; it was almost like she understood that I had a reason to be upset, to say those things." Angel shook his head quickly before he convinced himself that maybe this time actually was different. "But that doesn't mean anything. People can't change."

"Yes they can."

"Then why hasn't she yet? What exactly have I done to drive her away?"

"You haven't done anything."

"Really? Then tell me why the hell I have a mother who leaves me and her four year old daughter out to dry, to fend for ourselves with no money or food, and a father who just up and left for some reason one day. Please tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong here Buffy!"

The sun was setting around them, birds chirping sweetly as they got ready for bed, but Buffy's eyes stayed on him. "Angel, look at me." He refused to even acknowledge that he heard her. "Angel," She squeezed his hand more tightly "Look at me." Slowly he turned to her, a glare set on her features. "You have done nothing wrong. None of this is your fault. Your mother and father being screw ups is their fault. Theirs and theirs only. You for some unknown reason just got some bad luck. But you aren't' taking it. You're not like most people who would sit and wait to die, you're out here everyday, taking care of your sister, being the grown up, fixing things that your parents have done. You are doing _nothing _wrong. Do you hear me? _Nothing_. You're parents are the ones to blame for all this, not you."

He laughed bitterly. "Then why do I feel this way?'

"Because you're a good person and you'd rather it be your fault then your parents. As much as you hate to admit it Angel, you still love them and you still will accept your mother back into the house each and every time because you want and you hope that maybe one day she won't be lying. Maybe one day she'll prove to you that she has changed. And if not, then you need to just wait it out for one more year Angel. Then you can go to court and give forth all of the evidence that you have been the one raising Kathy all these years and you can adopt her. You can have that legal custody over her and choose when your mother can and can't see her. One more year Angel. If none of this gets better, then you have every right to get out and be home free. But I don't want you to ever think that your parents left because of you. They left for their own problems. Your mother obviously feels remorse over leaving you guys or else she wouldn't be coming back so much. She's a woman, believe me, she has other ways to get money if she really wants to. And your dad? Wherever the hell he is, he's regretting his decision. I firmly believe that. There's no way that they can't regret hurting you two. It's not possible."

"You don't know any of this."

"Yes I do." She stated matter of factly. "You do too. You just have to believe it."

"It's easier for you Buffy! You can talk about all this stuff all you want but the fact still remains that I'm living this life while you sit in your nice fucking warm plush house having caviar for dinner!"

She pulled her hand away. "Don't you dare say that. You don't' know anything about my life."

"I know that you live the charmed life while I sit back and deal with shit that you couldn't' even imagine every day."

Laughing bitterly she stood up and crossed her arms. "The charmed life huh? Tell me how the hell my life is charmed Angel, because I'd really like to hear it. My mother died when I was ten years old, I have a father who's not exactly the nice guy everyone believes him to be, I deal with people ridiculing me every damn day because of my money, I'm so God damned depressed that I actually take drugs just to forget that I even exist! I lost my virginity two months after I saw my mothers life slip away from her, everything and everyone that I have every loved has left me too! You've got your sister, I have no one! So don't you dare even start with me about having a charmed life because I hate to break it to you, I'm probably more screwed up then you'll ever be!"

They both stared at each other, Buffy with tears in her eyes, and Angel with unfortunate truth on his face. He knew things weren't good with her. He knew that the first time he met her. But anger never has logic to it, all it does is allow you to lash out and hurt the people you love.

Slowly he got up, causing Buffy to believe that he was going to do nothing more then walk away. But for the second time today he surprised her when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. There and only there did she let the tears she had been holding back all day out.

Neither one of them were really sure how long they stood there, but by the time they were done, the sun had fully set. Buffy was the first to pull away though.

"Guess we're both kind of messed up today huh?"

She wiped her eyes. "It hasn't been the greatest day of my life."

He cupped her face with his hand, wiping the last of her tears away with his thumb. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Making you cry."

"To tell you the truth, I kind of should thank you for that. I needed it." He frowned and opened his mouth to ask her to finally tell him the whole story but she interrupted him before he even began with the touch of a finger on his lips. "Don't. I've cried enough today. Let's save my life trauma for another night. Please."

More then anything he wanted to protest, wanted to force her to spill, but from experience, you had to come to these things at your own time. No one could force you to say things that you yourself didn't even want to state out loud. So instead he did the only other thing he could think of.

He kissed her

Slowly and sweetly, something that neither one of them had experienced before. Buffy's arms wrapped tightly around his neck, his around her waist, as she stood on tiptoe, never wanting him to pull away. Eventually though it had to end, as all things do.

"What was that for?" Buffy said so quietly that he could barley even hear her. Her eyes were still closed, her mind still in the state of bliss she had been in moments ago. It was amazing how quickly problems tended to slip away at times like this.

"I've wanted to do that since day one. I figured now should be the time before we get into yet another argument."

She laughed. 'We're not exactly a match made in heaven are we?"

"No," He kissed her on the forehead. "But since when does that matter?"


End file.
